Running Numbers

A scholarly look at the digits that matter.

by Nick Norlen

After 11 months of smooth sailing, the fates conspired to deliver setbacks for Running Numbers' New Year's resolutions. Here's how I'm failing:

$427,220 Salary paid to Penn State football coach Joe Paterno during the first 10 months of 2007 — putting him on pace for more than $500,000 on the year, according to the Associated Press report following the state Supreme Court ruling that made JoePa's salary public. This is disheartening for efforts toward Resolution No. 1: Earn a salary closer to the maximum wage than the minimum one. And to think I was pleased with the 27 percent salary increase I achieved a month into the challenge. Trust me, it's not nearly as impressive as it sounds.

1,000 Approximate number of gamblers, according to news reports, who had to be evacuated from Philadelphia Park Casino last week after a water-main break that likely resulted in more than $400,000 in lost revenue and a dangerous blow to Resolution No. 5: Gamble more often. Luckily, the casino reopened in time for the beginning of its month-long anniversary celebration, allowing me to increase that revenue loss.

$189 Cost of an authentic Phillies "2008 Alternate Cool Base Jersey," the new 1940s-inspired home uniform the team introduced last week in celebration of its 125th anniversary. That announcement spelled bad news for Resolution No. 3, which can be paraphrased as "snark-attack marketing schemes whenever possible." Sure I can make fun of the marketing VP's press release statement about how "the fans will love them," but compared to those puke-inducing Eagles digs from earlier this year, I feel almost obligated to praise the new Phils shirts, which can be purchased at the Majestic Clubhouse Store at Citizens Bank Park or on MLB.com. Gag.

$1.25 Amount of money — the equivalent to one hour and 15 minutes — left on my Philadelphia Parking Authority Smart Card, which started with $20. This doesn't bode well for Resolution No. 2: Don't drop a single coin in the PPA's meters in 2007. Keep this on the DL, but I'm actually pretty confident about this one. I just want to lull the PPA into a false sense of security.

6 Number of clues you'll be given two weeks from now for the Running Numbers Treasure Run, a contest partially inspired by Nicolas Cage's treasure-hunting character, Benjamin Franklin Gates, who will appear again in the upcoming National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Tying the contest in with the Disney/Bruckheimer vehicle due out Dec. 21 comes perilously close to defeating Resolution No. 4 — avoid unsolicited morale boosts for billion-dollar conglomerates — but it's worth it. You'll see ...