The Bell Curve

When news breaks in Philadelphia, we make jokes.

Sixers GM Billy King replaced by New Jersey Nets GM Ed Stefanski. SugarHouse picks up King on the rebound, hires him as resident "cooler." Plus 6

Former cop accused of engaging in deviant sex with man in Fairmount Park acquitted. It took awhile, but he finally got off. Even

Boy Scouts ignore city-imposed deadline to lift ban against gay and atheist members. And they still wear those little handkerchiefs, right? And all those pieces of flair? Minus 4

Foxwoods casino settles property tax dispute. By getting the city to agree to a special double-or-nothing lien. Even

City Wide Youth Leadership Agency asks holiday shoppers to boycott the purchase of toy guns. Better buy the real ones, folks. Plus 2

NBC sports director Vai Sikahema frontrunner to fight Danny Bonaduce in celebrity boxing match. Well, boxing match, anyway. Even

Flyers winger Scottie Upshall hints that he's bedded two girls at once on the Preston & Steve show. Were they one-cup crazy? Plus 2

Julia R. Masterman named in U.S. News & World Report ranking of country's top public high schools. It's all about perception: Arnold P. Loserman High came in dead last. Plus 4

A.J. Feeley throws four interceptions in 28-24 loss to Seattle Seahawks. "You, Donovan! You all right! I learned it by watching you!" Minus 5

Total Minuses: 9

This Week's Total: 5

Last Week's Total: 5