Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

A.D. was ready to send y'all off with a list of Philly-fings for last-minute shopping stomps. But nothing offers Icepack holiday kisses, wishes 'n' fishes like a seasonal salutation: "I'm a fucking TV reporter, dyke bitch." It's a perfect present. And though it works best for me ("I'm a fucking media overlord, dyke bitch"), it's tailor-made for all. The New York Post has snaps (citypaper.net/icepack for the link) to remember the good times, before Chris Booker drove Ms. Lane next-level nutsoid. See ya in hell, Alycia.

► So gifts: Are you paying attention to your drinking or reading about drinking? Philly expat Dan Dunn detailed such detritus in Nobody Likes a Quitter (and Other Reasons to Avoid Rehab) for Thunder's Mouth Press. Dan's at theimbiber.net. The book's about boozing with Bono, Keanu, Hunter S. and more. Model Kandy Pitts just started Black-OPX Talent+Development. But she's not so busy she can't encourage those with chapped everything to buy gift certificates for spa-style Pierre & Carlo pampering from her on the cheap (215-563-0290, kkpitts@gmail.com). Kali Morgan's new Passional Sexploratorium on South Fifth has sexy faerie sculptures by Monine Brocco and a towering dildo or two. The Collectibles label in the 'burbs offers the only locally produced new holiday CD with garage-pop avatars' 1910 FruitGum Co.'s Bubblegum Christmas. Crank the title track 'n' run the red light. There're even charitable things: The just-opened Yo Darkroom Gallery on North 23rd holds its first members sale of photos with 10 percent of proceeds going to Morris Animal Refuge (yodarkroom.com). Frankenstein Bike Worx owner Jeff Harris wants cold, hard cash and deodorant, shaving stuff and other bodily goods to mail to the boys overseas. And Philly's IKE, releasing its third CD, Where to Begin, Dec. 26 at World Café Live, want nonperishable food items for Philadbundance.

► Nearly forgot: There's great paper tie-dyed T-shirts at Bobo's on Ninth from its lot of New Orleans transplants. One of its gallery friends, art-world superstar Wian Treetin aka Ryan Trecartin is rumored to be looking into buying Indre studios to start a new Souf Philly gallery. He's telling friends that SoWash's the shit. 

► WHOWHATWHERE: Joel (Good Charlotte) Madden was seen/heard "serenading some chick on the phone" at Philly International Airport. Let's hope it was Nicole Richie. The gift of art continued when Julian Schnabel stopped at the Four Seasons after screening his devastatingly haunting The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. He wore big yellow-lensed sunglasses and turned the lights off in the suite. "There are no pessimistic artists," says Schnabel. "They're all optimists." Diving's subject Jean-Dominique Bauby certainly transmuted his life into art according to the director before heading to the art museum to see Cy Twombly's "Fifty Days at Ilium." "It's better than any Renoir exhibit and Cy's an old friend," said Schnabel before reminding me that he made famous a painting named "A.D." When I mentioned that he might head to the Duchamp room, he told me how familiar he was with the space. "In 1974, Sigmar Polke and I drove to Philly just to see that Room." More art WHOWHAT: Philly curator Alex Baker and mezzo-soprano Martha McDonald left for Australia to the strains of Meg Baird and Bardo Pond at Johnny Brenda's. Kenn Kweder played a lovely version of Dylan's "I Shall Be Released" at the Old Swedes Church celebration of dearly departed Philly rocker Chris Larkin. Larkin's bro Buzz Barkley, Bill Curry, Michael Tearson and Randy and Robin Kotz paid respects. So did Crown of Creation's Heshi Schlachterman and former Dobbs owner Kathy James. No, I didn't ask — it was a funeral — but I heard that Schlachterman and the legendary Hank the Drag Queen bought the Pontiac (what Dobbs became) on South Street, with hopes of getting James to let them use her "J.C. Dobbs" name. It's all rumor now. But I hear they're hoping for an April opening and that they're doing away with the kitchen downstairs and returning the stage to its original spot. 

► Between doing the Westin Dec. 21 and Brownies 23 East Beru Revue Christmas/Project H.O.M.E benefit Dec. 23, dark cabaret chanteuse Nicki Jaine'll appear on WHYY-FM's "You Bet Your Garden" with Kweder.

► What'll Sean Agnew do for a beer-spitting, Mummer-loving lady now that MC Marina left Bonde do Role?

► Next time you hear Greg Foreman, it'll be in Cat Power's The Dirty Delta Blues Band and her due-in-January Jukebox. Next time you hear Blue Maxx Goat and his Black Landlord, it'll be on their Munf-to-Munf Lease, which is still being readied for its Jan. 26 Johnny Brenda's release gig. Next time you hear producers Andre Harris and Vidal Davis, it'll be all over Mary J. Blige's Growing Pains out NOW.

► There'll be no nicer way to spend the holidays than with friends at the Jill Rabbits' house on Mifflin in the St. Agnes area for its Ms. MK b-day art/music jamboree Dec. 21 and the Radio Eris Temple Winter Solstice Celebration Anniversary Party on 52nd St. Dec. 22 with guests David E. Williams, Justin Duerr and Bonnie MacAllister (radioeris.com). Ho and ho.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)