Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

	print	email	reply	rss feed

Published: Dec 26, 2007

You can't spell "new year" without "ew." And I can't go darkly into the dusk and musk (and, oh, there'll be a musk) of 2008 without tripping over the dead bodies of 2007. So with no further adieu than the one on my desk, Icepack wants to night-nurse some of the fings that made my year capitol, old chap, for the better, best, worse and wurst. For instance: CRAZY BITCHES: Jocelyn Kirsch and Alycia Lane. There's no amount of barnacle-dragging batshit-crazy wogga-ja-wogga any two women — heck, any two guys — in Philly or most of New Jersey (save Gov. Corzine, who may or may not just be goofy) could execute that would beat this pair of queens at holding us so sensationally enthralled. While one robbed, the other throbbed. While one steals, the other spiels. They lied, cheated, bawled, twisted and shouted (to say nothing of getting spa treatment at Pileggi's) while waiting for the governor's reprieve and the public's pardon. PUSSIES: Edward Anderton and Chris Booker. It's important to note that while those gals raged sagely, these clydes just kinda stood by, letting all the schizoid nutsiness happen. Some have said that Booker stood by his lady by not mentioning her on air, in print, what have you. But he, like she, happened to have vacay coming. We think Booker's just scared he won't get to stay the third-rate(d) morning radio guy in Philly. Booker's been this wifty shifty character since he's been in Philly.

And he promotes Kildare's every shot he gets. Oy. This is one long, lousy, boring story waiting for a dippy dénouement. Wake me when it happens. THE WORLD OUTSIDE MY DOOR: Thank you to OC's National Mechanics (I know I haven't given you enough love yet. I just miss Wichita Steaks. Or was it Life?), Ritt-Row's G and Vango and Souf Philly's P.O.P.E. for reassuring me there's odd sick decadent decorous life outside of Fishtown/Kensington. And thank you to John Redden's Barbary and Mark Bee's Silk City for making my trips up north nice beyond the necessary. THE FUCKHEAD OVER STREET'S HEAD: Between selling us out to the casinos, trying to shoehorn Convention Center expansion without union labor and taking Alycia Lane's call, you, Gov. Ed Rendell, are one dismal un-class act. THE GOOD RAP: It's funny. A year and a half ago, I was sitting with Seymour Stein and my-man-pots-n-pans Jerry Blavat at Gioia Mia while Stein was trying to sign DJ Alexxx and Naeem Juwan — Philly's Spank Rock — to a label. And Naeem wasn't sure that big money was the answer. Fast forward to the present and he's on the cover of The Fader (yay), tipped as tops by Rolling Stone (errr) and signed to Downtown — the Gnarls Barkley label that's letting Spank have reign with stuff like the 2 Live Crew tribute, Bangers & Cash. Stay very tuned. And while you're tuning to Spank, will someone a) make sure his scarily mirthful mistress Amanda Blank gets her deal, too. And Santogold — Philly's weird blip-soul songstress (late of Stiffed) who's been cozying with M.I.A. , Mark Ronson and Björk. Hook her up. THE SITES: While I dig phillychitchat.com for a quaint daily dose of one bird's-eye view of nuPhilly with a teensy camera, it's 2007's PhillyHistory.org with its richly comported array of aged photos from the 1800s on (thanks, Dept. of Records and Avencia) and research-hungry storytellers that keeps me up to date on what this city used to look like before the chintzy condo-mnation. I like to get my hard stuff from the Woodshop-shop-if-a-woodshop-could-shop of Collateral News (collateral.blip.tv) produced with Bryan Sacks. And I like vastbbw.com so to check in on all my big girls. PHILLY LIVE ON TAPE: You can't do better than finally hearing the legendarily lost Oh Me, Oh My: Aretha Live in Philly, 1972, from Ms. Franklin's time at the NATRA convention. Check the bubbling-toil-troubling version of "Rock Steady" on Rhino Handmade. And nu-heads? I hope you're loving eattapes.com as much as I. Not only does it capture nationals 'round town (Caribou) but local lovelies Meg & Laura Baird @ First Unitarian Church's Chapel and Pissed Jeans @ the Vacuum. THE SORRIEST OF DAYS: Good night, sweet princes: Hy Lit, Chris Larkin, Rick D. and all those local luminaries whose names we'd rather not have to remember for their sad passing this year. A FINAL WORD FOR 2007 FROM THIS JAGOFF: After getting his Khyber T-day bash bashed by L&I bitches, b-day boy Michael Hans aka Dirty Diamond and his partner DJ Sleazy E find themselves roasted Dec. 29 at Khyber by 2007's draggiest survivor, Needles Jones, Benny Michaels, Amazing Wid, Jon Conner and me, A.D. , with a Diamond show immediately after. "The roast'll be the verbal equivalent of the whooping Alycia Lane handed down to N.Y.'s finest," says Sleazy. And Diamond? "I can't wait to see everyone spew more horrendous filth than an encore twogirlsonecup.com video." Thanks, boys. As for me, see you and fuck you in the '08.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

 

Thread Alert
Running Numbers