Little 'Duce Coup

Talking with Danny Bonaduce about his upcoming celebrity boxing match.

by A.D. Amorosi

Before Danny Bonaduce knocks the tar from Justice's ears (or, who knows, the other way around?) here's the rest of the Icepack Q&A with a growly-voiced Bonaduce that took place on a Sunday night. He grabbed his smokes and we talked.

City Paper: When did you leave the Philly area?

Danny Bonaduce: I lived in Broomall and Havertown until age 4 and left permanently around that time. I moved back in here in 1988 and stayed for quite a long time.

CP: Did you have to kick any ass back then ... not when you were here the first time?

DB: When you are successful — which I was the second time around — smacking people gets very expensive. That said, I can't think of a major city I've been in or lived in where I didn't smack somebody. Things get out of control. South Street in particular; so yes, I did.

CP: Are you in fighting shape for this?

DB: Absolutely not. But my non-fighting shape usually trumps anyone else's best fighting condition.

CP: How's that?

DB: Because I'm harder than most.

CP: That's an impressive thought.

DB: I'm not trying to sound or seem tough. It's just a fact of life that I've learned the hard way. Just because I'm sober now doesn't mean you get to be a loud-mouthed drunk and not lose a lot of teeth. Maybe I have three teeth in my head that are mine. I don't have one quadrant of my body that doesn't have steel, pins and rods in it. I play hard. And I like it. So the fact that I don't know who this guy is or how big he is or what he knows just interests me at most.

CP: So hand-to-hand combat, mano y mano stuff — not to sound all militaristic here — thrills you?

DB: Yes. It does.

CP: Where does that come from?

DB: Being good at it. I make a very comfortable living because I'm amusing. When it's called for, I do that. When it's called for I can usually beat the other guy up, too. I don't have a lot of other skills other than those two things. If you ask me to be amusing and pay me a million dollars or ask me to be a tough guy and pay me dick, I might just take it.

CP: So how did you wind up fighting this time in Philly?

DB: Somebody asked. I don't even know who. Not the name of the guys who asked me or the guy that I'm fighting. I had nothing else to do that day.

CP: You're honest.

DB: I've done ... it's like a line in one of my favorite movies, Blade Runner, where that German actor ...

CP: Rutger Hauer.

DB: Yes. Obviously he's done horrible things throughout the character's life. But he has this one tender moment and has a line that goes, "I have done ... questionable things." Well, I have done questionable things. And I'm good at it. So I don't care why anyone wants to fight me. I just want to see the guy who beats me. I just want to meet him. By the way, may I just say, because I don't know this guy ... that I'm not mad at him. I made my bones doing what he's doing. I'm guessing he's a local DJ. I couldn't have more respect for him for doing what it takes to get noticed. He wants to be in this business and he's willing to put life and limb on the line. I can't imagine that if he doesn't have the experience to fight with me that he isn't well aware that he's going to get hurt. But he's willing to do this to raise his awareness in your town. I admire him. I'm going to be as polite to him until the second we enter the ring. When I walk into the ring and there's a man across from me with gloves on his fist, all bets are off. When they cart him off in a stretcher I'll be the first guy to send him flowers, tell him how much I admire his tenacity and let him know that's what made me who I am today: being willing to go the distance. He can't just do stunts. He has to be able to back them up. If he gets 50,000 new listeners because he got in the ring with me, that won't do. He then has to be interesting. Luckily I was able to.

CP: Justice does apparently believe he has beef with you from the sound of this beatingbonaduce.com site where he claims he approached you at a radio conference — and he does believe you're a talented radio personality — but that he met you and you blew him off as a goofball fan.

DB: It's a great story that I can't imagine. I'm well aware that my fans are my most direct employer. If you chose to listen to me rather than someone else, you pay my bills. I cannot be more polite than to those who listen to me. So his is a story I'm quite sure didn't happen. He was probably, back in that day, a shock jock who asked a lot of stupid questions about The Partridge Family, chicks and David Cassidy and got what he came for. I'm sure in his heart he holds no real malice.

CP: But you admire him still.

DB: Yes. Because this is a publicity stunt that's going to hurt. No one's ever been left standing at the end of the fights except me. It's going to be a different sensation for him getting punched in the face by his trainer who'll ask him if he's alright afterward than when I punch him in the face, see he's hurt then get excited and go in for the kill.

CP: You can't train for that.

DB: No you can't.

CP: So what do you say to people when they expect your life to be a shipwreck?

DB: Batten down the hatches. They're right. And that's fine. In fact if you want to continue with the nautical theme, having that as an opposite to smooth sailing — I'll take shipwreck every time. A well-choreographed shipwreck. I'll give them whatever they want next week: I'll get into the ring, strut, yell, look bad. Then I'm going to this guy's dinner, if his jaw's OK.

Danny Bonaduce will square off in a celebrity boxing match against Wired 96.5 jock Justice on Sat., Jan. 19, 8 p.m., at the Marple Sports Arena, 611 South Park Way, Broomall, 610-338-0111, marplesportsarena.com.