The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Union leader John Dougherty begins circulating petitions to potentially challenge Vincent Fumo for state Senate seat. Remember when Nikolai Volkoff turned good and fought the Iron Sheik? Plus 4

Temple in trouble for auctioning of golden retriever puppy; situation later diffused by coach Dawn Staley shelling out $700 for it. Um, Dawn? You know Air Bud was fake, right? Plus 2

10,000 Men's "low profile" attributed to bitter winter weather. So with the wind chill, it felt more like 3,000? Minus 2

Philly cop under scrutiny after discovery of white power poster in his locker. Internal Affairs want to know if he's the only person in the world who likes Shavlik Randolph. Minus 4

Tony Luke to launch national line of frozen food products, including steaks and roast pork sandwiches. In other words, he bought foil and stickers. Even

Chester-based Boogiii Men Entertainment Groups sues Ludacris, claiming the rapper ripped off one of their beats for hit "Get Back." "I think that's Fabolous," says Ludacris. "Nah, that's Juvenile," says Fabolous. "Don't be Ludacris," says Chubb Rock. Minus 1

NBC reps to visit Dave & Buster's to cast contestants for new season of The Mole. Shouldn't be hard. Even

Barbaro's owners travel to Churchill Downs to mourn Kentucky Derby winner on first anniversary of his death. Hey, I guess you can milk a horse. Minus 8

Drexel professors organize exhibit examining the "art and science of the inkblot." AKA "One Hundred Weirdo Vaginas." Plus 9

Total Pluses: 15

Total Minuses: 15

This Week's Total: 0

Last Week's Total: 2