The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Pranksters release 85 chickens into halls of Northeast High. Sixty-eight make the honor roll. Plus 10

City Council holds hearing to determine fate of city-owned golf courses. In the event of a deadlock, the clown's mouth will serve as tiebreaker. Even

Doctor Keith Lafferty, who planned to challenge five-term Congressman Bob Brady, drops out of race. "I mean, there was going to be a debate at some point," says Lafferty. "And Brady would've schooled me. His logic, his enunciation, his erudition, his unparalleled rhetorical aplomb — I just can't compete with that." Minus 1

Former Committee of Seventy watchdog Fred Voigt named deputy city commissioner. Committee of 69 considers a new mission. Even

Electricians Local 98 sues city Board of Ethics to block review of 2007 election expenditures. Just a warning: Either give in or wear rubber, guys. Minus 1

Academy of Natural Sciences displaying scrapbook containing the hair of America's first 12 presidents. "That's really cool," says Franklin Institute. "All we have is an animatronic Boba Fett and a fully operable Millennium Falcon. Congratulations on your hair book, guy!" Plus 2

Sixth Street house explosion linked to gas leak. Via spark. Minus 3

Astronaut Robert "Hoot" Gibson drops in to visit Independence Charter School. Unexpectedly. And his charred remains were pecked at by chickens. Plus 1

Total Pluses: 13

Total Minuses: 5

This Week's Total: 8

Last Week's Total: 1