The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Roosevelt Boulevard driver arrested after throwing glass bottle at face of fellow motorist. In the Northeast, they call that recycling. Minus 2

Sixers, at 23-30, not ruling out possibility of a playoff appearance. Public Record not ruling out possibility of a Pulitzer. Plus 1

On-trial Milton Street questions constitutionality of federal income tax. "And show me where in the law books it says I can't poop in Nutter's mailbox every Thursday," he posits. Plus 7

Drexel commemorates National Engineers Week with time-honored "egg drop" competition. "It's called gravity," say Penn researchers. "We got a guy over here turning monkeys into cats." Even

Michael Nutter choked up with emotion at outset of budget address. "Will whoever keeps taking a dump in my mailbox please stop? Please ... just stop." Even

Congressman Bob Brady attempting to organize Democratic presidential debate in Philadelphia. Main topic: Could David Akers beat up a bear? Plus 2

Eagles cheerleader Janipher Choi earns spot in Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. By holding real still and getting spritzed. Plus 1

New York mayor Michael Bloomberg to speak at Penn commencement this spring. For the same reason Angelina Jolie goes to Africa: to choose an heir. Even

Traffic on 95 slowed for cookie truck that crashed. Otis Spunkmeyer moves to top of Nutter's 150 Most Wanted List. Plus 3

Total Pluses: 14

Total Minuses: 2

This Week's Total: 12

Last Week's Total: 8