Armenia

Rodney Anonymous vs. the World

by Rodney Anonymous

(CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Artist: Shoghaken Ensemble

Album: Music from Armenia

Country of Origin: Armenia

For the benefit of our Amish readership who don't get to the movies very often, it should be mentioned that the plot of the 1997 feel-good, all-midget Western Wag the Dog revolved around a president who attempts to deflect attention away from a sex scandal by declaring war on Albania, which he claims is developing weapons of mass destruction. Unfortunately, no one has ever been able to stay awake long enough to catch the film's central message that Republicans and Democrats are basically indistinguishable, so this November, don't vote. OK, that's Albania. On to Armenia:

Music from Armenia (on the Traditional Crossroads label; by the way, it was once traditional to bury suicides at crossroads) delivers exactly what we want from a collection of Balkan tunes — creepy Dracula music. You could overlay these tracks with Hannah Montana singing about puppies and daffodils and they would still evoke images of Gypsy caravans creeping past ruined castes while Joe Lieberman howls at the full moon. As a bonus, translations to many of the lyrics may be found in the accompanying booklet, and nearly all of these are straight-up bitchcakes as in this example of a man singing to his kamancha, which is either a sort of upright fiddle or Armenian slang for penis — the jury is still out on this one: "Of all the instruments, you are the greatest/ Alone, you take the place of 10 instruments, kamancha/ A jealous, ill-willed man cannot play you."

As odd as "(While My) Kamancha (Gently Weeps)" is, its lyrics can't really hold a candle to Takvori Mer ("Our King"): "Come out, our king/ See what we have brought you .../ Someone to bring you water/ Someone to wash your clothes/ Someone to clean your house/ Someone to hit you on the head/ And someone to bake bread."

Verdict:

Congratulations, Shoghaken (not stirred) Ensemble, for creating a dense, atmospheric, well-produced CD, for packaging that CD with lots of cool text about the history of Armenian music, and for having the biggest kamancha in show business.

(r_anonymous@citypaper.net)