Overused Menu Terms

Buzz Words

by Felicia D'Ambrosio

The word that has launched a thousand squid appetizers, "crispy" denotes anything that has most certainly been deep-fried in bubbling hot fat. Crispy spring rolls, kiddie chicken fingers, wings by the ton — you fry it, we buy it. But remember that those petite little dessert doughnuts took a dunk in the same oil as that calamari.

Really just "gourmet" for the jaded noughties, "artisanal" is meant to evoke pastoral visions of cheese-makers lovingly milking happy goats and farmers gently caressing baby asparagus. Dedication to craft and tradition is all well and good, but really, how much literal "artistry" goes into slaughtering piggies to produce that succulent braised pork belly?

4 House-made

This beacon of questionable grammar can be excused if the product in question really lights up the plate, but really, most houses are just not very dexterous in the kitchen, what with their clumsy Sheetrock hands and all. The most egregious example of this is "house-made ketchup." Popular South Philly brunch spots, we are looking in your direction.

This menuspeak mainstay promises diners a piece of something that's been subjected to blistering heat but isn't burned. Teetering across this tightrope of a technique are Philadelphia's brigades of line cooks. The audience? The dining public and its fear of the unfamiliar. Sexy brown crust? One point. Pinkish interior? Two points. Sending back a rare tuna because the "inside is cold"? The public wins; the cooks cry.