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How to clap at a classical concert

by Peter Burwasser

It would seem unnecessary to write about concert etiquette. After all, what else is there to say besides just sit there in silence until after last note is heard? And yet at concert after concert, a whole bunch of people do not seem to get it. OK, classical music is different. It is expected at, say, a rock or jazz show that folks will hoot and holler a bit as the music is going on (although, as an occasional attendee at such events, I would prefer that they don't). Also, some conventions change. Clapping between movements, for example, was common in Beethoven's day, and expected. Often, whole movements were encored before the rest of a piece was continued. So clapping between movements nowadays, although out of style, is not the end of the world.

What is more important is when to begin to clap. Musicians really hate it when the applause begins while the last chord of music is still sounding. The conductor, or the soloist as the case may be, will give obvious signals for the clapping to begin — look for the musicians to let their hands drop to their sides and their shoulders to sag. They may even nod their head. In some cases, this could take a few moments if the artist wishes to have some reverberation occur after the last sound, often a very nice effect. If in doubt, let somebody else be the first to clap.

Electronic devices? No-brainer. Turn 'em off, and not just to vibrate. Flash photos? You've got to be kidding. Coughing? Come on, get it out of your system. If you are that sick, stay home. Reading during the performance? Borderline rude. Just don't rustle the pages. Undoing cellophane candy wrappers? Unbelievably rude.

The worst offense is the most obvious one: talking while the music is playing. A special note to opera-goers: The music begins with the overture, not with the first singer. Talkers deserve a special place in hell. One of these days, when I'm older and crankier, I'll let loose to one with what is on my mind — "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT IS SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYONE ELSE'S EXPERIENCE?" Then, I'll get in my car, and smash it into an intersection where some impatient, stupid bozos are blocking the box. Did I mention that I also have a major problem with rude drivers?

(p_burwasser@citypaper.net