Ultimate Summer Fun Guide: July

Something awesome to do each and every day of the summer.

If for some reason you didn't get enough of it on TV or in real life, host a Parking Wars: Best of Season 1 DVD release party. Have guests recount their own PPA sagas and award quarters for the best story. Just be sure to preorder from store.aetv.com so it gets shipped early. —NN

Brothers Richard and Chris Robinson — the Black Crowes — bring back that old-time relijun, to say nothing of the feedback-heavy blues and hillbilly soul on their new Warpaint. They actually manage to find the soft spot between the Allmans and the Black Keys. Nice. 9 p.m., $46-$48, Fillmore at the TLA, 334 South St., livenation.com. —ADA

Mosquitoes be damned, the Schuylkill Banks is a lovely place for an outdoor film. On the agenda tonight as part of its "Laughter on the Banks" series is Office Space, so pack a bright red stapler and some extra flair in your picnic basket and you'll fit right in. Dusk (8:30 p.m.), free, Schuylkill Banks, 25th and Locust, schuylkillbanks.org. —CH

If you're stuck behind a high-rise or are too far south to get a good angle, you really don't have a choice but to hike up the Parkway with the masses for the concert-fireworks combo. This year, John Legend will croon while you lick cherry water ice from your hand and try not to step on a little kid's foot. Oh, and the grand finale will boom and glow off the amber walls of the Art Museum as always. Seriously, it's actually kind of fun. 26th and the Parkway, americasbirthday.com. —LH

We expect extra-spicy from the annual Philadelphia Salsa Congress at the Convention Center. The athleticism and sex appeal of the dancing, though, is based on the Congress' mission to offer the city's youth the opportunity to control their emotional outbursts through the discipline of salsa, which has to be more enticing than anything Harrisburg has legislated this year. Runs July 3-6, Workshops 9 a.m., $60; performances 7:30 p.m., $25; social dance 9:30 p.m., $40; phillyfunguide.com/event.php?id=19992. —JB

Gorge yourself without the guilt at Taste of Philadelphia, an al fresco sampling of the city's restaurants. Chefs will make their offerings available at a discount, with proceeds going to MANNA and its services to those living with HIV/AIDS. Free salsa lessons, too! The dance or the condiment, do you think? Doesn't matter. 11 a.m.-6 p.m., Great Plaza at Penn's Landing, Columbus Boulevard and Walnut Street, americasbirthday.com. —LH

From all the posters and pictures I've seen of RZA and his new Digi-Snacks album, he looks alternately like he's pumping iron under water and pirating. Maybe that's just what his nom de hip-hop alter ego, Bobby Digital, is doing in 2008. After RZA's Wu Tang clunker 8 Diagrams, Digi-Snacks is a welcome Shaolin treat. 9 p.m., $22.50, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., thetroc.com. —ADA

It may never have dawned on you that hip-hop and ping-pong go together like peanut butter and jelly. Or, more appropriately at Bob & Barbara's, PBRs and shots of Jim Beam. Challenge a local drunk to a game, enjoy beats made by local DJs, and remember to tip your bartender. Tuesdays, 10 p.m., no cover, 1509 South St., 215-545-4511, myspace.com/bobandbarbaras. —CH

Last year, the insanely prolific Ani DiFranco added another work to her oeuvre: a daughter. While Mama DiFranco has also released a book of poetry, opened an eco-friendly performance venue in Buffalo and lectured on feminist issues, she's still kickin' out the folk-rock jams like it was 1990. Catch her on a warm summer night at the Mann. 8 p.m., $36-$46, Mann Center for the Performing Arts, 5201 Parkside Ave., 215-893-1999. —LH

From the same people who brought you cute boys like Shane West a few weeks ago comes the 14th annual Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival — the biggest gay cinema fest in America. While no hard info is available on the whats and whos, we're hearing that Michael Lucas' Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild is an early contender for the fest's biggest stiff. Runs through July 21, phillyfests.com. —ADA

Your average fixie-riding cyclist may think his alleycat spoke cards come from extreme sporting, but even the International Olympic Committee gets scared enough to ban tandem sprint racing — four men on two bikes at 45 mph. The sport's national championships will be settled at Tandemonium, by professional riders on a closed course. 6:30 p.m., $6-$8, Lehigh Valley Velodrome, lvvelo.org. —JB

Before you start rapping that ol' "Chronic-what-cles of Narnia" jam, know that this weekend's Magic the Gathering tournament is no lazy Saturday and Sunday. You got to be a wicked wizard, or a manic spider or at the very least a Llanowar Elf to play this game. OK. I've said too much and must now return to Mishra's Workshop. Runs through July 13, Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch St., wizards.com/magic/welcome.asp. —ADA

Go for a romantic romp at Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton, N.J. There's top-notch work from Red Grooms, Kiki Smith and Isaac Witkin, but for the sheer fun of it, the highlight is J. Seward Johnson's tableaux representing famous painting scenes. You'll feel like you've been dropped in the middle of Manet's The Luncheon on the Grass, bare-naked lady and all. Open 10 a.m.-6 p.m., 18 Fairgrounds Road, Hamilton, N.J., 609-586-0616, groundsforsculpture.org. —LH

By now you've already acquired the Crystal Skull and your inner-Indy is jonesing for more archaeology action. Crack a whip and hit The Big Dig at the Academy of Natural Sciences. Unearth some corythosaurus and struthiomimus fossils. I hear that if you can get 'em out, you can keep 'em. Ongoing, $8-$10, Academy of Natural Sciences, 1600 Ben Franklin Parkway, ansp.org. —CV

Hey Philadelphia police! Tired of beating up on people who turn out to maybe be innocent? Improve your odds by bustin' heads at the Snoop Dogg/311 show at the Festival Pier. If you can't find some soft Nova kid with a joint tucked into his pack of American Spirits, then you're doing something wrong. 6 p.m., $49.50, Festival Pier, Columbus Boulevard and Spring Garden Street, livenation.com. —PR

Portland, Ore., may fancy itself the best U.S. city for a brew, but Portland, Ore., is wrong. Why? Because Philly is. Says who? That'd be Joe Sixpack, aka Daily News columnist Don Russell, who proves it by titling his new book Joe Sixpack's Philly Beer Guide: A Reporter's Notes on the Best Beer-Drinking City in America. See? Told you so. 7 p.m., free, Free Library, Central Branch, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —CH

According to IMDB, Diane Keaton wore her own clothes to portray Annie Hall in the Woody Allen film of the same name, which sparked a brief pleated-pants-and-loose-tie fashion craze. Why not try to rekindle the fad when you go see Annie Hall on the Schuylkill Banks? Because you'll look like a dude? Fair enough. Dusk (8:30 p.m.), free, Schuylkill Banks (25th and Locust), schuylkillbanks.org. —CH

Free lawn seats for the Philadelphia Orchestra at the Mann are back! Bring the blanket, eats and vino. You can even listen to music — what a concept! Tonight it is Ginastera, Mendelssohn and Mussorgsky. The freebie offer ends May 31, after which tickets are $10 — go to the Mann Web site for directions. 8 p.m., Mann Center for the Performing Arts, 52nd Street and Parkside Avenue, 215-546-7900, manncenter.org. —PB

If the brutal race around the rink — bruises, scrapes, bitch fights and all — won't get you to this Philly Roller Girls interleague double-header, the getups (expect underpants over leotards, leotards over fishnets, and fishnets over, well, nothing) certainly will. 1 p.m., $10-$15, Sportsplex, 1331 O'Reilly Drive, Feasterville, phillyrollerderby.com. —CH

Start your shorties stitching at Knitting for Kids at YO! Darkroom. It's just one of several dozen art classes available to kids and adults this summer. Tamika Jackson teaches tweens how to turn balls of yarn into monsters, dolls, cell phone cases and scarves. Members pay $90 (nonmembers $110). 10-11:30 a.m., 113 N. 23rd St., 215-789-9032, yodarkroom.com. —NHM

If you're the kind of person who goes to movies based on comic books, then you are frequently disappointed. Most of the time — Fantastic Four, Ghost Rider, Elektra, Catwoman, Superman Returns — they super suck. But this summer's crop of comic book movies actually looks promising. Iron Man has already, inexplicably, turned out to be decent, and I've got high hopes for Hellboy II and The Dark Knight. Hell, boy, even Hulk looks promising. Maybe. Don't quote me on that one. —PR

Ever been arrested for shoplifting? Cheated on a test and had to repeat the seventh grade? Get walked in on by your mom while you were masturbating? Bet that was really embarrassing. If you're brave enough to bare it all, the folks at First Person Arts — and a room full of strangers — want to hear about it at their Story Slam!: Caught, tonight at L'Etage. 8:30-10:30 p.m., $5-$10, L'Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., firstpersonarts.org. —CH

The Commonwealth Classics Theatre Company fourth summer of free outdoor theater features Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew under the stars. Like last year's hit The Game of Love and Chance, Shrew explores romance through slapstick humor, especially in director Damon Bonetti's Commedia Dell Arte'-meets-I Love Lucy concept. Catch it all over the suburbs July 10- 31 (or in Love Park on July 17). 610-202-7878, commonwealthclassictheatre.org. —MC

Your fantasy baseball team isn't in first place, and your league's trade deadline is probably only a week away. Get on IM right now and make some deals or you'll finish somewhere between fifth and 10th. Again. —MH

Wait. You've never been to Pottsville? The tour of Yuengling Brewery, America's oldest, is especially memorable for the dank, delicious odors of fermented malt that by now permeate every crevice of every surface in the place. And the town itself is worth a visit on its own, seemingly stuck in a time long ago. Open Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-4 p.m., two tours: 10 a.m. and 1:30 p.m., free, Yuengling Brewery, Fifth and Mahantongo streets, Pottsville, 570-628-4890, yuengling.com. —PB

In Japan, ghost stories are told in the summer, to induce shivers and beat the heat (or so the story goes). These tales must be pretty intense because the Shofuso Japanese Tea House and Garden, the place we ordinarily associate with tranquil tea ceremonies, is strictly banning anyone under 18 from its Ghost Party. 5:30-8:30 p.m., $6-$12, 215-878-5097, shofuso.com. —MA

There are plenty of outdoor concerts in the area, but it's hard to beat the Upper Merion Concerts Under the Stars for casual warmth and picturesque setting. Every Sunday night as the sun sets families ease in with blankets and picnics, frolicking kids and dogs. A gentle hill slopes down to the stage, with a creek beyond that, trees and flowers on the sides. Good sound and blissful, welcoming vibe, too. What more could you ask? This particular evening, country-tinged singer-songwriter Lori McKenna headlines the show with her trio. (P.S.: Is it raining? Come anyway! The township building has plenty of shelter for the show.) 7 p.m., $10, Upper Merion Township Building park, 175 W. Valley Forge Road, King of Prussia, umconcerts.org. —MA

Daytripper: Long before WigWam motels and WienerMobiles, there was Lucy the Elephant, built as an advertising stunt back in the 1800s to promote real estate that wasn't exactly underwater, but the path to it often was. The man needed a hook, and found one so novel he patented the plans. Climb inside her and up onto the howdah (riding platform) — great view of the water, along with the feeling that you're doing something your great-grands may have. 9200 Atlantic Ave., Margate, N.J., 609-823-6473, lucytheelephant.org. —MA

How did the Bush Administration's decision to use torture post-9/11 affect America's moral and political standing? Jane Mayer, a writer at The New Yorker, discusses this and other topics while touting her book, The Dark Side, at the Free Library. 7 p.m., free, Free Library, Central Branch, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —TN

Center City Sips allows those of us with limited drinking funds to sidle up to the pretty people at places like XIX and Susanna Foo. But the $4 cocktails, $3 wine, $2 beer and half-price appetizers are available at more low-key favorites as well, like Devil's Alley, Happy Rooster and Public House. Drink up. 5-7 p.m., centercityphila.org/life/Sips.php. —LH

The Hegeman String Band finished in the top 10 again on parade day. Come decide for yourself if they should've placed higher when they play one of those free weekly concerts behind the Mummers Museum. Bring a lawn chair if you have any thoughts of taking a break from practicing your strut. Also a coupla bucks buys you a chance to win the sparkly little mummers doll that gets raffled off every week. You can't get one anyplace but here. And once you have a mummers doll, you're basically royalty on Two Street. For serious. Thursdays through Sept. 25, 8 p.m., free, Mummers Museum, Second Street and Washington Avenue, mummersmuseum.com. —MA