Just Do It

Raw Onion: America Speaks Out

by Mark Cofta

Sun., May 25, 6 and 9 p.m., $20, L'Etage Cabaret, Sixth and Bainbridge streets, 215-285-0472, idiopathicridiculopathyconsortium.com

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The Onion packs more entertainment per page than any newspaper — except this one, of course — and its subversive satire should translate hilariously to the stage when the Idiopathic Ridiculopathy Consortium brings Raw Onion: America Speaks Out to life at L'Etage Cabaret this Sunday. This Onion-sanctioned benefit features 16 Philadelphia actors portraying characters from the opinion column of "America's Finest News Source." Hear wacky classics like John Kluivert's "My Lady Has a Beautiful Anus" performed by Anthony Lawton; Gerre Garrett as happy homemaker Patricia Halsworthy in "I Refuse to Let Some Beached Whale Ruin Our Family Outing"; and Michele Guidry as single and available Karen Lotse in "Act Now to Take Advantage of My Lowered Standards."

The twisted logic of Onion pseudo-journalism seems a perfect fit with IRC's successful productions of absurdists Christopher Durang, Edward Albee, Samuel Beckett and Eugene Ionesco. Indeed, Onion titles like "I'm Sorry, But I Only Date Men My Friends Are Afraid Might Kill Me" and "I Can Beat the Price You're Paying for Sperm" seem custom-composed for Philly's Fringe Festival — where IRC launched in 2006 — but the company is actually raising funds for its 2008 Fringe effort, A Streetcar Named Durang, three Christopher Durang parodies of Tennessee Williams and Sam Shepard, playing at L'Etage in September.