Foot Power
Share the road all you like, but stay off my sidewalk!
With Bike Month drawing to a close, I've got to get this off my chest. But first I need to make this clear: This Slant is in no way dismissive of bike messengers or delivery folk who bring me and mine our retinue of promotional tchotchkes and lo-carb snacks.
You're alone in what is still, unfortunately for this country's health and financial well-being, a mass of metal. I salute your tenacity, love your TRKFLD bags, marvel at your calves and am amazed you can cram your dreads under those helmets without looking ridiculous upon removal. You do all you do while trying not to get killed by asshole motorists.
Nor am I dissing bicycle-riding children who should keep to the sidewalk. I may not like kids, but they deserve full, rich youths before I start screaming at them.
No, this Slant is for adults who ride their bicycles on sidewalks — fast. For cyclists who have zero regard for traffic laws.
See, if you think being a biker is a solitary role to have in a world full of Hummers, try being me: a pedestrian.
I don't drive. Tried. Bought a car thinking that'd force me behind the wheel. Let my pals use it to drive me around until one of them, en route to get a blow job and chicken-fried steak, got sideswiped by an asshole we went to high school with.
If I'm not in a cab, I'm walking.
Walking's better for your pocketbook and your health than biking. I know how much spandex bike shorts cost and what chemicals must go into their production. Fumes from spandex-forging factories kill. Plus, walking you can keep sartorial splendor unbent by creases you'd get from crouching over a bike. And you'll never get a planter's tan.
I love walking — especially outside my front door. Those first steps from my entrance onto my immediate pavement swell my heart with the puffed-up Tennessee Tuxedo pride of ownership. That is until I have to dodge bicyclists who not only ride unusually fast, but with zero regard to anyone or anything on the pavement — me, my wife walking our dog, other people walking dogs, children, laundry bags, parapets. I live on a block with elderly people who can't sidestep pavement-biking pricks with the matador's grace I can.
These bikers are speed-racing zombies who neither stop nor slow, staring blankly ahead — risking their lives and mine. I say "their lives" because I do fear I will one day be forced to kick one from the seat of their bike.
Why are bikers allowed to barrel down sidewalks that rightly belong to pedestrians?
Then there are the bikers who do ride on the road but swerve aimlessly around cars or speed alongside them. This is annoying and potentially harmful when someone — namely me — is trying to get out of a cab and you're in my exit lane as I stretch my long Paul Smith-clad legs from said vehicle.
What's the hurry, hoss?
Don't get me wrong: I like speed. Not meth, but the fact that people move quickly. That's why I've lived in a big city my whole life. But I have a funny feeling bad bikers wouldn't ride on sidewalks or serpentine around stationary cars if they had to pay insurance — something I think should be mandatory, albeit crazily inexpensive.
At the end of Stewart Dean Ebersole's recent Slant [May 15, 2008] he mentioned giving drivers the finger to gently remind them that bikers are unprotected "and that you are just not fucking paying attention." I second that emotion but ask pavement-leaching bikers to not mind when I kick them for not fucking paying attention. The finger just won't do.
A.D. Amorosi is a persistent City Paper contributor. To reply to his Slant or write one of your own, e-mail Brian Howard, bhoward@citypaper.net.
Also In This Week's Opinion Section
Please refer to Philadelphia government link http://www.phila.gov/streets/the_bicycle_network.html
Section 3508. Pedalcycles on sidewalks and pedacycle paths. It appears pedalcyling (aka bicycling) is indeed permitted on Philadelphia city sidewalks regardless of cyclists age. Of course, cyclists "must yield the right-of-way to any pedestrian and shall give an audible signal before overtaking and passing a pedestrian."
We may not like it, but it seems we must at least familiar with the law.
“Chapter 3508. Pedalcycles on sidewalks and pedalcycle paths
(a) Right-of-way to pedestrians.- A person riding a pedalcycle upon a sidewalk or pedalcycle path used by pedestrians shall yield the right-of-way to any pedestrian and shall give an audible signal before overtaking and passing a pedestrian.
(b) Business districts.- A person shall not ride a pedalcycle upon a sidewalk in a business district unless permitted by office traffic-control devices, nor when a usable pedalcycle-only lane has been provided adjacent to the sidewalk.”
However I think you may not have come across section (B) referring to Business districts which specifically prohibits bikes on sidewalks. Center City is a Business District.
Now onto the Philadelphia Code:
Ҥ12-808. Riding on Sidewalks.
(1) No person shall ride a bicycle upon a sidewalk within a business district, as such district is defined in The Vehicle Code.
(2) No person 12 years of age or more shall ride a bicycle upon any sidewalk in any district.
(3) Whenever any person is riding a bicycle upon a sidewalk, such person shall yield the right-of-way to any pedestrian and shall give audible signal before overtaking and passing such pedestrian.”
This is an excerpt of the University of Pennsylvania’s policy:
“B. Synopsis of Pennsylvania and Philadelphia law
1. Human powered, pedal cycles are vehicles according to the Pennsylvania Vehicle Code.
2. Vehicles, as indicated in #1 above are subject to the provisions of the vehicle code when operated on the highways and may not stop, stand or park where prohibited or where controlled by official traffic control devices to include firelanes, handicapped zones, etc.
3. The Philadelphia Code prohibits any person above the age of 12 from riding a bicycle on any sidewalk or pedestrian pathway in a business district. The Penn Campus area meets the definition of a business district.”
It appears that the City of Philadelphia has deferred to the State of Pennsylvania. Center City is a Business District and therefore bicycle riding on sidewalks by anyone over 12 years of age is illegal.
I forgot to mention, I was almost run over last night on Rittenhouse Square by a bicyclist in his Tour de France get-up on the sidewalk on Walnut Street at 18th. He was doing circuits of the park on the sidewalk going at least 20 mph. Elderly residents prefer to use that sidewalk as they go about their business being pedestrians. Have I properly familiarized myself with the Law? Where are my boltcutters?
Do not walk out into the middle of traffic using an Ipod, or talking on your cell, while I have the right of way and expect any sympathy from me. Do not stand feet from the curb at lights, forcing me to go around you, and expect any sympathy from me. Do not step out of cabs, in a hurry and without looking, forcing me to brake to a stop or make amazing dodge ball maneuvers to avoid being killed by your door, and expect any sympathy from me. Do not honk your horn at me because I am riding in the lane to avoid being doored by idiots, frequently leaving cabs, and expect me to let you pass. Do not speed up to pull in front of me, only to cut me off to pull into a parking space, and expect any sympathy from me.
Walking is better for you? Want to bet my legs and blood pressure are superior to yours? You have to buy lycra to ride a bike? Says who? Quit your bitching….for every whiner who complains about a bike on a sidewalk for 30 seconds to avoid getting killed, there are 10 idiots walking in the bike lane and forcing me around them. When you worry about jaywalking laws, I’ll worry about morons who are oblivious to the world around them on their cell phones.
PS….would I hurt more if you kick me from the sidewalk, or if I ride by with a kryptonite lock and use it as a bludgeon on your top hat?
Sincerely,
Someone who almost never rides on the sidewalks but is sick to death of whiney, hypocrite pedestrians
Thanks so much for the eloquent point of view - so much love. You just reinforced the stereotype I hold of city bicyclists; angry. Why? Look at all the $ you are not spending on a car. Why not expend the angst you devoted to your submission and educate your fellow bicyclists with the middle finger attitude to follow the rules of the road and let us "walking idiots" educate ourselves on street crossing etiquette. Last time I checked the statute you have to yield to us and last time I checked the yellow pages there are plenty of plaintiff attorneys who would love to represent one of us "walking idiots" injured by a bicycling idiot breaking the law.
You have the right of way when crossing at a red light? You have the right of way crossing the street, against traffic, not at a corner, and forcing me around you? You are entitled to walk in a bike lane? If you want to discuss statutes that apply to cycling rules, I'll mention those for pedestrians.
I feel no desire or duty to educate my fellow cyclists. I am responsible for only me. When a doofus like you writes an article that hypocritical, which threatens violence, I will explain why you are a doofus. I did it, as you said, eloquently. Your response was consistent with the same hypocrisy that was evident in your article. You criticize my reaction while you were the one wasting time with your complaint and threats. Why did you write your initial article instead of educating your fellow distracted walkers on saftey, rules and common sense?