The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Eighty-nine of the region's 323 Amtrak bridges need repairs in the next few years. Though officials expect that number to go down on its own. Minus 7

Dominican-owned businesses thriving in Philadelphia. "What do they got that we don't?" asks owner of dirty, understocked Fishtown deli. "Tacos or something?" Plus 3

Police bust up cockfighting ring in Kensington, seizing 18 birds. "This isn't over," says detective. "I will not rest until I personally grab every loose cock in town." Plus 2

CBS3 fires Larry Mendte over Alycia Lane e-mail controversy. Dan Gross does a stupid little troll dance. Even

Hairdresser responsible for Jocelyn Kirsch's infamous extensions files civil suit seeking repayment for services. Dan Gross does a long jubilant cartwheel across the Commodore Barry Bridge. Plus 1

Drew Elementary kindergarten teacher Erlene Bass Nelson retires after 51 years, the longest stint in School District history. Grants clemency to 56-year-old straggler. Plus 51

PPD Web site features updated "recent crime" map. We just mugged an old guy to get our block some respect. Hermitage Street, ya heard?! Even

Developer wants to build the world's tallest building in Philly. "Wow. Really?" says ghost of William Penn. "Cole Hamels, meet syphilis." Even

Woman returns from vacation to find unknown man eating her food, doing his laundry and sleeping in her bed. "Sorry," says Larry Mendte. "Boy, I just can't stop touching other people's stuff." Minus 2

Total Pluses: 57

Total Minuses: 9

This Week's Total: 48

Last Week's Total: -3