Pageant Queens

Inside Tips on Sweeping Mr. Gay Philadelphia

by Liz Tung

(CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION)

This Friday, Philly's buffest will bare their pecs and their souls for a shot at winning the second annual Mr. Gay Philadelphia, a pageant-style competition that serves as a preliminary for the North American Mr. Gay contest in L.A. Presented by Bruce Yelk of nightlifegay.com in conjunction with BUCKmonkey, the event, which will benefit Philly-based nonprofit ActionAIDS, is on a mission to break down gay male stereotypes. City Paper kept this in mind as we lobbed some of our own pageant questions at judge Jack Mackenroth of Project Runway fame (pictured) and host Brittany Lynn, our fave local drag queen. Contestants, take note!

Jack Mackenroth: I'd probably be a cheesesteak because I'm needy and a little bit cheesy.

Brittany Lynn: I would be a foot-long cheesesteak tied into a pretzel knot — look under my dress and you'll see why.

CP: How do you personally combat gay male stereotypes?

JM: Breaking stereotypes to me means being all that you are. If you want to wear eye makeup, that's fabulous. If you are a woman and you want to be a big old diesel dyke, then go for it. I just think that breaking stereotypes is about being an individual — it's not about acting straight.

BL: I hide my man purse in my jeans to make my penis look bigger.

CP: If you were a fruit, what would you be and why?

BL: How dare you ask me such a gay question.

CP: What will you be looking for in Mr. Gay Philadelphia?

JM: For me, the question-and-answer portion is going to be important. I want someone who's articulate and has a point of view and understands the question. I think giving back to the community, what you're doing beyond your little insular life, is important. Yeah, all those things. Confidence. Sexual favors. Bribes. You know.

BL: Medium height with a swimmer's build; tan with gorgeous eyes. Someone who will listen to me, be there when I need him, look like Zac Efron but completely hairless.

HALF OFF DEPOT

Why live life at full price?

CP: So what's the deal with Lindsay Lohan? Gay or no?

JM: I don't care about Lindsay Lohan [laughs]. So she's maybe having sex with a girl — does that make her gay or experimenting? A lot of people don't really like to be labeled.

BL: Big-ass bull dyke. Have you heard her smoker's voice? That gal's gonna break a lot of Home Depot workers' hearts.

CP: If you were a drag queen, what would your name be and what would you wear?

JM: Well, I'd have to obviously make it myself. It would have to be very grand, with, like, a headpiece to match. I'm sensing a lot of mirrors and roller skates. And I always said that if I had a drag name, it would be Meme Imfirst. You know, when you're a little kid, you're like, "Me! Me! I'm first!"

CP: If you were a porn star, what would your name be?

BL: Harvey Poopandcorn — have you ever seen butt sex?

Mr. Gay Philadelphia | Fri., Aug. 8, 9 p.m., $30-$60, Gershman Y, 401 S. Broad St., nightlifegay.com