View from the Cheap Seats

Our writer road tests the Chinatown bus against its upstart rivals.

by Sulina Gabale

Evan M. Lopez (CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION)

Ah, the Chinatown bus. Plagued by legends of spontaneous explosions and sudden stoppages, ridden by passengers who seem straight out of a Roald Dahl novel, and nestled beneath a dark underpass on 11th, between Filbert and Arch, this mode of transportation is the epitome of "shady." Yet, as a college student who frequently travels between my home in Philadelphia and school in New York City, I couldn't live without the Chinatown bus.

About two years ago, however, new competitors to the original Chinatown buses materialized, claiming to provide a more pleasant trip for as little as $1 one-way from Philadelphia to New York City. They were, essentially, trying to Chinatown bus the Chinatown bus out of business.

I was intrigued, but also wary. How is it even possible for a bus company to make money selling $1 tickets? If I took the bus, would I be subjected to some torturous scientific experiment on the way? I decided it was time to get my own experiment on the road.

One-way ticket, Philly-NYC: $12 (purchased in advance online or on bus); pick-up: 55 N. 11th St. (11th and Filbert streets); drop-off: 88 E. Broadway (E. Broadway and Forsyth streets); 2000coach.com.

For a recent trip from Philly to Washington, D.C., I hopped on the "classic" Chinatown bus — or, at least, the one most popular among my friends: 2000 New Century Travel, headquartered at 11th and Filbert, beneath the Market East Station underpass. A round-trip ticket, purchased on the bus, cost me $28. The price would prove way too high.

Courteousness: Getting on the bus, the staff collecting tickets and directing passengers yelled frequently at us in broken English, pointing to the rows of buses parked outside and impatiently rolling their eyes at every question. I was helpless. The only sensible thing I could think to do was to approach another passenger who appeared to be seasoned in this chaos, and ask her where to go.

Comfort: As if the nauseating smell of mysterious foods hanging in the stagnant air wasn't enough to make me uncomfortable, the broken AC on what happened to be a smoldering summer day left riders fanning themselves with whatever they could find. Every seat on the bus was full, leaving each pair of passengers to do the awkward "who gets the middle hand rest?" dance. In my case, sitting next to a seemingly 7-foot-tall body builder, there wasn't much suspense.

The Lowdown: Despite the apparent disorganization, the bus was efficient, leaving and arriving at its scheduled times. Including an unannounced, five-minute stop near a gas station in Baltimore, it took a total of three hours to get from city to city.

Started by the Greyhound Bus Co. this past spring, Boltbus is one of the newest competitors to the classic Chinatown bus. Cheap advance tickets can be purchased online, and earlier equals cheaper. For example, a one-way ticket from Philadelphia to New York City one week in advance costs $8.50, but the same ticket three days in advance costs $13.

Comfort: As for the ride itself, aside from the embarrassing red and black flashy exterior (it looks like a campaign bus for lightning from hell), the buses are amazing: They're all new coaches with tinted windows, AC, power outlets and free Wi-Fi for passengers — a huge plus. And, instead of dropping you off in Chinatown, Boltbus deposits you in midtown Manhattan.

The Lowdown: The bus was efficient, clean and pretty empty both times I traveled to and from New York City, but my last-minute tickets were about $3-$5 more than most Chinatown bus tickets (usually about $10 one-way from Philadelphia to New York City). It was a small price to pay for plenty of elbow room and non-funky air.

One-way ticket, Philly-NYC: One week in advance online, $1-$10; on bus, $10; pick-up: 121 N. 11th St. (near Cherry Street); drop-off: 88 E. Broadway (E. Broadway and Forsyth streets); buszoo.com.

When I first heard about a $1 one-way ticket to New York City, I figured it was just a rumor, too good to be true. After checking all of the Web sites I'd heard about that might have this sort of promotion, without any success, I was pretty sure this ridiculously cheap ticket was an urban legend ... until I came across buszoo.com. For a $3 round-trip ticket (including a $1 online service charge) between Philadelphia and New York City, I can safely say that my experience on this bus highly surpassed the shady ticket price and disconcerting Web site name. I went into the trip expecting the worst — a Chinatown bus on steroids, say — but once I got there, I realized that "Buszoo" is just an online ticketing service for a standard bus company: the Cherry Bus Inc. Apex Chinatown buses. I had to go up to the counter, show my ID and my printed ticket from Buszoo, and I was good to go.

The Mystery: Of course, I wondered: How exactly does this company turn a profit? In response to my questions about the sustainability of the company, a salesperson who wanted to remain anonymous said, "Very few people buy in advance online. Most people buy here at the window-counter bus stop at last minute, so online is promotion-only." True — I was the only person holding a printed ticket that day.

The Lowdown: There was only one real setback, but it was a major one. The noon bus I was scheduled to take didn't show up, so all of the passengers were directed to take the 1 p.m. instead. This did not sit well with some passengers.

HALF OFF DEPOT

Why live life at full price?

The pricing procedures of MEGABUS resemble those of Boltbus, in that the earlier you buy the ticket, the less you have to pay. It also depends on how many people have already purchased a ticket for your desired bus.

The Lowdown: MEGABUS started in 2006 around the U.K. and Canada and covers a lot more ground than most buses that provide transport only between major cities. A week in advance, tickets ran about $7-$10; my rides were uneventful, and the buses were very punctual. The crowd seemed to consist mainly of younger, college-age kids rather than the characters who board Chinatown buses and spend the majority of their trips talking to an imaginary twin in the window.

Buses, like comedy, are all about timing: when they arrive, when they disembark, when you buy your tickets. I can confidently say that the ticket I purchased on buszoo.com for the Cherry Bus Inc. Apex bus was probably the best bang for my buck. I mean, how do you beat a perfectly functional bus ride to New York City for the price of a pack of Juicy Fruit? For you techies who need to be glued to your laptops, though, I'd definitely go with Boltbus for its computer-friendly atmosphere. Part of me is sad to see my relationship with the gritty, grimy Chinatown bus coming to an end. But then I ask myself: "Would I ever ride the Chinatown bus by choice again?" Nostalgia is for suckers.

(editorial@citypaper.net)