The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

More than 100 guns are seized from a house in Northeast Philadelphia. And placed in another one. It's called a Cottman Avenue Fire Drill. Plus 3

Leonard P. Luchko, a former aide to state Sen. Vince Fumo, said he deleted incriminating e-mails for Fumo. "I'm like the opposite of Larry Mendte. And he's a creep. Which, if you think about it, makes me a hero. So can I go now? And have a parade?" Even

More women are becoming correctional officers in Philadelphia prisons. Beats the heck out of seeing hubby only in the visiting room. Plus 1

Local archaeologists say casino construction will disturb relics. And local geologists say it will disturb rocks. Plus 1

Gun-control activist group CeaseFirePA expels board member Mary McFate after giving her a week to refute claims that she is an NRA spy. She is later shot by board member Mark McKarma. Plus 1

Driver is rescued after his car plunges into the Schuylkill. Damn you hidden river! Even

New school superintendent Arlene Ackerman meets with administrators to discuss the obstacles they will face in the coming year. "Everything. Meeting adjourned." Even

The Streets Department is installing 1,000 new streetlights in high-risk areas to help combat crime. This will only encourage the Mantua Moth Gang. They're moths. Plus 4

Computers and monitors thought to be stolen from Progress Charter School are found behind the school. Drinking 40s. Plus 1

Total Pluses: 11

Total Minuses: 0

This Week's Total: 11

Last Week's Total: -1