Hero Worship

by Brian Howard

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Published: Aug 20, 2008

Phillies ace Cole Hamels was a unicorn. The tooth fairy. Santa Claus. From August 2002 till May 2006, the man — a boy, really — was a mythical figure for Philadelphians. A sasquatch. He may as well not have existed.

It seems strange to be running a cover story about how Cole Hamels is, as E. James Beale puts it in his excellent profile of the guy here, "the unquestioned ace of the Philadelphia Phillies." There are a lot of people who, if they're being totally honest with themselves, never believed that Cole Hamels would even make it to the majors.

Why? There's a saying in some baseball circles: "There is no such thing as a pitching prospect." The people who say it say it so much they abbreviate it: TINSTAPP. It's a weirdo acronym trotted out whenever young pitchers are discussed, and what it hints at is not some stubborn refusal to believe in the existence of pitchers under a certain age, but rather a lesson beaten into them with Aesopian certainty. Because throwing a baseball 90 miles per hour a hundred times or so per game puts such an ungodly strain on the muscles and ligaments of the human arm, a lot of young pitchers break down under the strain. Of course, many don't. But there's not a whole lot in the way of rhyme or reason that determines which ones make it into their mid-20s without requiring some sort of reconstructive arm surgery and which ones do not. TINSTAPP.

Hamels was 18 when he was drafted by the Phillies in the first round of the 2002 draft. Young. Just out of high school. High school pitchers are considered riskier than college pitchers. College pitchers at least have made it four extra years without that catastrophic physical breakdown.

Hamels had already had a catastrophic — albeit freakish — physical breakdown. His arm snapped while throwing a pitch. As in, the act of throwing a ball broke a bone. It's an injury that's happened to at least five pitchers in the major leagues; none of them ever pitched effectively again. Granted, Hamels' humerus had already been compromised a few weeks earlier while playing football. But that does not diminish the fact that the Phillies, who value raw talent above all else in the draft, were taking a gigantic risk. TINSTAPP.

Raw talent Hamels had in spades. Whenever he took the mound, he was phenomenal. In 201 Minor League innings, he struck out an otherwordly 276 batters and allowed just 117 hits. The problem is, those 201 Minor League innings came over four seasons. Between elbow soreness, a strained back and that infamous broken hand, Hamels was rehabbing more than he was pitching.

When Hamels finally made his Major League debut in 2006 after rocketing through three levels of the minors in eight games, it was like finding Bigfoot, and he had a big bag of candy. Then Hamels, after two big-league starts, heard a pop in his shoulder while warming up. It felt like the obvious conclusion to the ultimate tease. TINSTAPP?

Except Hamels came back a few weeks later and finished his rookie season. And pitched most of 2007. And has been a horse this season. Of course, each week since we decided to do a story on Hamels and how the Phillies season is riding on his shoulder(s) and elbow, we've been doing something like praying that the guy doesn't, well, I don't want to say it. Against the odds, Hamels exists.

Conventioneering

The giant buddy fucks known as the Big Party Political Conventions are upon us. We're beyond excited to announce that Dr. Duncan Black, aka Atrios, the man/myth/rock star behind Philly's political powerblog Eschaton (eschatonblog.com), is going to be reporting for us from Denver and posting updates throughout the four-day clusterfuck. Keep your eyes on the Clog, CP's staff blog, for details as the big Obama coronation (or Clinton coup?!) approaches. And check citypaper.net as we hope to bring you some pre-game with the talented Dr. Black.

(bhoward@citypaper.net)

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