The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Lorraine Bednarek, a Democratic ward leader in the Northeast, says she is unsure of whom she will vote for in the upcoming presidential election. It's not that she's racist. She just doesn't relate to Obama. Because he's black. Minus 10

An Elkins Park travel agent is arrested for stealing money from potential travelers looking to go on an African safari. "I did them a favor!" agent protests. "We're talking about people who weren't tough enough for Mount Airy." Minus 3

PA labor board rules that Philly prison guards can negotiate contracts through arbitration, just like police and firefighters. Just as soon as they become police and firefighters. Plus 4

The Greater Philadelphia Cultural Alliance finds that many of the cultural organizations in the city operate on financial deficits. Except for Friends of the Wing Bowl (501c3). Minus 7

Changes to Roxborough's Walnut Lane Golf Club face opposition at a town hall meeting. Nobody went for Manayunk Sport and Social Club's proposal to turn the clown's mouth at hole 19 into a giant Solo cup. Even

More than 1,200 fugitives turn themselves in to Safe Surrender program. The remaining fugitives are believed to be criminal geniuses. Plus 3

Larry Mendte sends three of the eight regional Emmys he recently won to the subjects of his stories. Congratulations, Bella Vista house explosion, American Idol contestant and extremely fat house cat! Even

State Rep. Babette Josephs introduces a bill banning implants under people's skin that would transmit personal information. So, who's running for Babette's seat now that she's crazy? Minus 2

Total Pluses: 7

Total Minuses: 22

Total for the Week: -15

Last Week's Total: 5