Palin's Future in "Real America"

by Amy Z. Quinn

When you're done figuring out where the "real America" is, see if you can decide which is the real Republican presidential campaign: Is it the one John McCain's running, which is heavy on clenched teeth and true tales of heroism? Or is it the Sarah Palin Show, where xenophobia is repackaged as small-town charm and a well-timed wink is mistaken for statesmanship? Oh, the two are still saying nice things about each other, but at this point they seem like a couple whose passion has worn off and are now waiting on the divorce. Like Madonna and Guy, but with even more kids.

McCain seems to be still going through the motions, at least, of trying to run a campaign that appeals to reality-based Republicans. On Monday, his own campaign staff squared off against supporters spouting "Obama's a Muslim" nonsense at a rally in Virginia. Meanwhile, Palin's the leadoff batter in the World Series of Crazy.

She feeds her crowds like a mother bird, spitting up chunks of cultural paranoia candied with "straight talk," enabling their feelings of being put upon by That One, by Those People, the ones who aren't "pro-America." It's as if the 100,000 people who turned out for Obama in St. Louis are The Other, some less authentic version of America. And if it's not The Other, it's about stopping the socialist menace, another crumb to toss at those who fear wealth redistribution even as McCain talks about the government buying up home mortgages.

The rhetoric is wacky, but the presentation is gaining polish. She still hasn't held a press conference, but Palin is stepping up to the traveling press corps at events and on the plane, freaking out her handlers and overshadowing Joe Biden, who's been sticking to stump speeches and hasn't held a press conference in weeks. Clearly, Palin is trying to go somewhere politically. But the folks she sucks up to, the Joey Ventos of the world who pelt CNN reporters with packs of gum, aren't ever going to take her to the White House. She'll figure that out eventually.

In the meantime, give her credit for pluck: Obama's surging, McCain's still talking about Joe the Plumber and Palin's poll numbers are in full reverse, but her parallel campaign goes on, like some right-wing Second Life with pockets of players all over the country (but only the really pro-America parts). The disconnect between the campaign she's running and the one McCain has resigned himself to is too big right now to be accidental. By publicly disagreeing with her running mate on issues like ANWR, the Federal Marriage Amendment (which he railed against on the Senate floor and which she supports, dontchaknow), and those "irritating" robocalls (which he denounced after they sank him in 2000 but has now embraced), Palin burnishes her own maverick image while endearing herself to social conservatives and other "real Americans."

This broad might be dumb, but she ain't stupid. And one definitely gets the feeling we're stuck with her no matter how things turn out on Nov. 4.

Sarah Palin's only 44. There's no reason she can't spend some time building up her political résumé and, oh yeah, raising all those kids. She'd do well to study up a bit on Hillary Rodham Clinton, who earned enough experience and political capital in the Senate to make a serious presidential bid in less than a decade. Get herself appointed to some important committee, move the family to Virginia and really get in touch with her inner Santorum. Write a book in which she's frank about her inexperience in '08, and portray herself as an ambitious woman who was made an offer she couldn't refuse. In short, try to earn the opportunity she was handed this time around.

How long should all this take? About eight years, I'd say.

Amy Z. Quinn blogs at quinnchannel.typepad.com.