Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

Are y'all finished with the world-fucking-champion Phillies, the United-fucking-States presidential election and the Carnival-fucking-Cruise-Lines world-record piñata? Can we continue with some real fucking people? Like Danny Bonaduce? Earlier this year I spoke to the Broomall-born ex-Partridge, turned-radio-jock, turned-boxer on the eve of one of his fights for Damon Feldman. It was then and there that Bonaduce mentioned if Philly made a decent enough offer, he'd come back. "In a heartbeat is what I said, right?" he asked when we were on the phone Sunday. Now, you may recall Bonaduce was on-air locally at Eagle 106 FM from 1988 to 1993. And word is going around that he'll be the host of WYSP FM's new morning show starting soon. Is that true? "On the record, I do a one-hour radio show in L.A. for a CBS station — KLSX FM — for far more money than it's worth." (CBS also owns Philly's 94.1.) Sure, under those circumstances Bonaduce can sleep till noon and only needs a few funny ideas to get him through the hour so he can spend the rest of his time hosting shows like Breaking Bonaduce and his new Danny 911. So what's the 411? He promises he doesn't know. "I'm hearing rumors that I'm going everywhere to take over a morning show," says Bonaduce. "They'll probably [have to] send me to a major city to afford me. I saved my money this time around so I don't have to go anywhere I don't want to. But I'm a very good employee and go where they tell me." His mom just moved back to Philly, his dad worked for the zoo, his aunt ran Temple's journalism department, etc. "I am Philadelphia. But I go where they tell me." I'm betting I'll be breaking bread with Bonaduce before Thanksgiving.

► Yay Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction. On Nov. 7, you're opening a shop on North Third Street full of sweet T-shirts and velvet paintings. Yay Johnny ScareHo. On Nov. 7 during First Friday, you're (temporarily) changing your name to Juan Dimida and moving from thrash punk instrumentalist/mosaic artist making graffiti art and having your gallery debut at Glam on South Second with several rappers and DJ Just Jess to follow.

► I'm hearing rumors ye old Abilene on South Street is turning into something German — a German disco, a disco owned by German guys, a schnitzel palace? Keep an eye out for sausages in any case.

► Karen Gross is an all-out sassy singer/instrumentalist/comedienne whose Sex & the Single Singer cabaret hits Tin Angel at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 7.

► Rumor has it that the Kimpton Hotel at the Robert Morris building at 17th and Arch will be called the Kimpton Flacon and house a Vetri restaurant on its ground floor. And yes, the Wawa stays. It's too profitable not to. 806 Capital, Agoos/Lovera Architects and Zeff Design are on the development/building tip.

► Michael McDermott (the sound artist known as Mikronesia) and sculptor/mixed-media artist Michael Murray join dancer Melissa St. Pierre to present the otherworldly sonic abstraction of Cochlea, an automated sound and art installation at 119 W. Montgomery Ave.'s Little Berlin Gallery Nov. 7.

HALF OFF DEPOT

Why live life at full price?

► WHOWHATWHERE: When Vogue editor at large André Leon Talley did his thing for Art Institute of Philadelphia students, their fashion professor Emil De John and some of Philly fashion's leading doyennes (Joans Pileggi and Shepp, etc.) at the Four Seasons (after lunch at the Fountain), I had to know: What did he think of this city's style? What defined it? Though he mentioned dance goddess Judith Jamison and didn't mention Ralph Rucci (the press still hates Philly's answer to Balenciaga, I guess), Talley proudly brought up this city's grandest couture-buying dame, Chestnut Hill's T. Charlton Henry, one of Givenchy's best-ever customers. "I adored her," said Talley. When Seann William Scott came to the Four Seasons (after doing the weather at Fox 29) to promote the goofy yet sturdily snarky Role Models, ("The script was a great idea, totally derivative in every great way — Big Daddy and Wedding Crashers rolled in to one, without being a rip-off of five other Judd Apatow films") he talked about remorselessly sad Danish films ("kind of like Role Models," he laughed, "same sort of vibe"), Jacques Derrida and wanting to buy the rights to The Diving Bell and the Butterfly before Julian Schnabel did. "Yeah, I definitely don't want to be pigeonholed," said SWS with a grin. And if that doesn't work, he can do Fox's weather.

► Andrew Lipke offers up his new Ry Cooder-like CD, Motherpearl & Dynamite (on Drexel's MAD Dragon label, through Ryko) with a residency at The Fire Nov. 11, 18 and 25. Get there. The solo Lipke's a moody existentialist sensation as opposed to his FranzSchubert & the Schuubs goofiness.

► Speaking of goofs, Bordentown, N.J.'s Record Collector store live series starts with ex-A's Richard Bush with his Peace Creeps (Nov. 7) and closes with Nov. 26's Jackie the Joke Man Martling show being recorded for his next comedy CD. And then there's Dirty Diamond, who'll hit the Khyber Nov. 8 with his Vagina Jam co-starring Sleazy E, Peek-A-Boo Revue, the Pussy Getters and Benny Michaels. "There'll be free vibrators for the first hundred ladies, and free coke straws, and a DD CD if you buy in advance on ticketweb.com" says Diamond. He just spent airfare cash for Voodoo Fest and a West Coast tour. Help him recoup.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)