The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Christopher Wright, Councilman Jack Kelly's former chief of staff, testifies that he did not accept bribes, only gifts from friends during tough times. And it is always a tough time when you are that fucking stupid. Minus 1

An archaeologist from Temple finds that Perkiomen Middle School houses about 2,000 rare Native American artifacts, donated by a local businessman. Here's hoping he's not an Indian giver. Plus 3

Philadelphia hosts the Mayors' Institute on City Design. "Tell me what we can build out of stale pretzels and abandoned houses," Nutter says. Even

Nutter announces the city will invest $13 million in local businesses and development. "Just as soon as I poop out $13 million." Plus 2

The First Judicial District stops serving breakfast to jury members amid budget cuts. In fact, they may not even be there when you wake up. Minus 1

Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay, signs up for Damon Feldman's next celeb boxing match. Once you call Vai Sikahema a celebrity, everybody's fair game. Even

Total Pluses: 6

Total Minuses: 2

Total for the Week: 4

Last Week's Total: -9