NEWS . Sports

An Incomplete List of Reasons the Mets are Douchebags

Published: Feb 25, 2009

Last Thursday, less than a week after his new closer echoed Jimmy Rollins' famous declaration by anointing his squad the "team to beat" in the National League East, and just two days after his center fielder opined that he hopes the Mets "kill" Cole Hamels, New York Mets shortstop Jose Reyes innocently asked a group of reporters, "Why are [the Phillies] focusing on us?" After all, Reyes mused, the Mets "don't say nothing about them."

So why do the Phillies pay so much attention to the Mets? It's a fair question, I suppose. After all, the Mets are just the lowly two-time consecutive NL East runners-up, hardly a group the World F. Champions need to fear. Still, I think there may be an answer, and we at City Paper, being good Samaritans, are here to provide it. Without further ado, we present to you our best guesses as to what it is about this second-place team that seems to provoke the Phillies' ire: An Incomplete List of Reasons the Mets are Douchebags.

Evan M. Lopez

(CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION)

• Last year, Mets star third baseman David Wright — public face of the MLB '07: The Show video game, Vitamin Water sports drinks and Fathead posters — made several public statements about how he'd be cutting back on "endorsement deals and promotional activities," to focus on the game. Two weeks later, he made his second visit to theLate Show with David Letterman. To this day, athletepromotions.com informs me I can book Wright for "Corporate Appearances, Endorsements, Speaking & Autograph Signings."

• This year, the Mets are moving into a new, state-of-the-art stadium. Back in 2006, they sold the naming rights for the park to Citigroup — which, as you know, recently received a large federal bailout and had to lay off 50,000 people. Despite public pressure to abandon the deal, the $400 million agreement is being honored — and the American taxpayer is the not-so-proud backer of "Citi Field." I want my money back.

• Last year, Mets then-manager Willie Randolph, one of Major League Baseball's true good guys, was flown out to the West Coast with his team only to be fired upon arrival, at 3:30 a.m. EST. The reason he wasn't told back home? The organization wanted to avoid making the next day's headlines, a goal they decided was more important than decency; before the trip, the manager had reportedly asked not to be let go in the midst of a road trip. Classy.

• Look, Mets fans, I understand that when you're visiting an opposing ballpark, you want to show up with your hometown colors. There's something admirable about trying to offset a sea of red with dots of blue and orange. (While we're here: Blue and orange? You're supposed to be a Major League Baseball franchise, not fucking Sea World.) It's even OK to cheer on your team at an opponent's park. But it's entirely another thing to sing your nonsensical "Jose, Jose, Jose, Jose" chant every time there's a routine grounder to short. Thanks, buddy, we get it, you're a douchebag. We got it three innings ago. It's like these morons all met on a message board for assholes with new haircuts, typing aggressively at each other, overusing the words "dude" and misspelling the word "bro," until they got bored and decided to head to Philly for the night.

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• It takes a special kind of stupid to embrace the Mets. The team came later than the Yankees and historically have been far worse. The only possible reasons for Mets fandom are: 1) You're a full-out hater who hates your hometown team because you're a jerk; 2) You love misery and decided to opt-in at the first chance; or 3) Your grandfather rooted for the Dodgers/Giants. The Dodgers and Giants, huh? It's a real shame those franchises folded. Mets fans are confused, and not confused in the fun way, either.

• All Mets fans break out their Yankees caps in October.

• Mets prospects enjoy an absurd amount of hype. Remember Paul Wilson? Alex Escobar? Rey Ordoñez? Bill Pulpisher? Ed Yarnall? Lastings Milledge? You wouldn't if they played anywhere but New York, which treats every one of its new prospects like the second coming of Howard Johnson.

• The current team won't shut its mouth about how its offseason additions were far superior to the Phils'. I mean, seriously? The Phillies added a trophy. That trumps a guy named "J.J." any day.

• The Mets' last championship team was basically an advertisement for wasted talent. As a sports fan I feel deprived that Darryl Strawberry and Doc Gooden — two sure-fire Hall of Famers whose careers were derailed by excess — never got their day in the sun. Would they have flamed out as quickly playing for the Royals? Maybe, but they didn't have a chance on the Mets.

• That stupid dilapidated apple. Why couldn't it die like the rest of Shea?

• Mets announcer Keith Hernandez's nonstop personal anecdotes from his playing days. We get it — once upon a time you were Keith Hernandez. Now you're just an old misogynist trying to remain relevant at the expense of actually calling the game.

• Mr. Met, New York's big-headed mascot, looks like a gum ball on steroids. The fact that there are Mets fans who refer to that cross-eyed goon as "beloved" does not speak well for their instincts or intelligence.

So, Jose, we hope we've helped you on your quest to discover why in the world anyone would pick on your good ol' ballclub, and apologize for leaving you with such a woefully incomplete list. After all, we haven't even gotten to your pouting after called strikes, your needless celebrations after home runs, or your awful, elaborate handshakes that seem to happen only when you just did something right. In short, we haven't even mentioned the biggest reason we hate you — you.

No sugar-coating: Beale tells you how he really feels about the Mets at citypaper.net/sportscomplex.

Comments

the idiot who wrote this is a Douchebag and than again you need to watch ur mouth about the mets and its fans u fricken idiot
by cisco on February 25th 2009 8:16 PM

Blogs like this are why NY can laugh at Philly it does not matter if you win the WS as fans and as a city Philadelphia will always be second rate. No fan base treats their own team as poorly as Philadelphia when the team loss's even one game, No fan base treats other teams fans as poorly as the Philadelphia fans and last there is no group of baseball, football, hockey or basket ball fans that show less sports knowledge be it in blogs or on the silly useless sports talk station WIP.

LOL so just keep crying like E. James Beale it remains the rest of the sports world why we should pity Philadelphia fans not hate them.
by Rob on February 25th 2009 9:11 PM

What a bitter coward that doesnt even use his first name! LOL. Typical gay Philly low class homer with AIDS.
I hope you feel better now E James. Loser. BTW, I'd LOVE to see you say it to Jose's face, and I know you're reading this you phukking homo. tnopsnt
by Writers Daddy on February 25th 2009 9:42 PM

YESSS this is the greatest thing i've ever read.
by YESSS on February 25th 2009 9:47 PM

I believe Writers Daddy just legitimized the entire part about Met's fans right there
by jdoog on February 25th 2009 10:08 PM

Screw new york and mets fans. new york is just a big city of nerds and hipsters. its not new jack city anymore, so stop acting like it is. Philly is still Philly and we will still rumble with any cornyass mets fan.
by ballzy on February 25th 2009 10:36 PM

yo writers daddy why don't you get off joses dick. i think you are the homer with aids
by ballzy on February 25th 2009 11:03 PM

What's funny is, the most intelligent comment from Muts fans is Rob's. He's the guy who says it doesn't matter, yet bothered to enter his name, email and security code and admists to listening to WIP.

Sure, Rob, it doesn't matter.

Not too much, anyway, huh fella?

The other NY fans here represent their team and city quite appropriately, I'd say.


GO PHILS!
by MutsFansareFunny on February 26th 2009 12:06 AM

Rob, you can tell how poorly Philadelphia treats their sports teams in Charlie Manuel's "THIS IS FOR PHILADELPHIA!" speech as he hoisted the WORLD CHAMPION TROPHY.

New York loves the Yankees, not the Mets.
by Chase Mutley on February 26th 2009 9:40 AM

Wasn't it phillie fans that drove a family out of the stadium by screaming profanities at their young children?

Wasn't it also Phily fans that cheered at the chance that Michael Irvin could be paralyzed as he lay on the field?

Wasn't it Phillie fans that literally left their forums ghost towns at the three quarter mark last year?

What a fanbase!
by Momboelitist on February 26th 2009 10:03 AM

*extends index finger in the air signaling #1*

"Hey, listen. Listen. THIS IS FOR PHILADELPHIA!"

*crowd cheers*

Go ahead and keep repeating stuff you've heard from a friend of a friend and act like it matters.

(ps. What kind of a-hole makes Michael Irvin, of all people, out to be some kind of martyr? If he was your next door neighbor you'd try to hit him with your car every morning.)
by Chase Mutley on February 26th 2009 10:09 AM

How can you say anythign abotu Mr. Met when your mascot is the Phanatic? LMAO Whoopy look I can roll my belly around!!!
by Philthydelphia on February 26th 2009 10:16 AM

I thought that FINALLY winning a World Series would help Philly get over it's inferiority complex.

Guess not.
by upperdecker on February 26th 2009 10:40 AM

You can't help but feel sorry for people from Philadelphia. After all, their entire life they are dwarfed culturally by their neighbor to the north - Camden, NJ
by Tom on February 26th 2009 10:51 AM

Did you hear about all the Mets jerseys at Modell's?

They were recalled due to a choking hazard.
by Chase Mutley on February 26th 2009 10:54 AM

I must have forgotten that when it comes to patient fan bases and non-abusive fans, New Yorkers are the best around. It's like Philly fans are heavily criticized anytime they do anything, yet when New Yorkers do it, its explained away with "That's how New Yorkers act."
by Cutter on February 26th 2009 10:55 AM

James Beale, I'd just like to say that you are a pathetic, lowlife, moronic, ignorant, and troll baiting f-ckface.

Get your c--k out of the Met's @$$es, and get a clue you simpleton moron.
by Josh on February 26th 2009 11:02 AM

"James Beale, I'd just like to say that you are a pathetic, lowlife, moronic, ignorant, and troll baiting f-ckface.

Get your c--k out of the Met's @$$es, and get a clue you simpleton moron."

What was it that you guys were saying about Phillies fans being low class?
by Chase Mutley on February 26th 2009 11:14 AM

Mildly entertaining. The Mets are indeed chokers and their fans do love to suffer. But a few more rebuttals are warranted from a proud Met fan condemned to live in Philadelphia for the past few years:

-Philly's two favorite players are named Cole and Chase. I can't think of two more douchey names than Cole and Chase.
- Philly baseball fans are by far the worst - I've personally witnessed a family in blue and orange being driven out of Citizens Bank Park because two Philly douches were yelling obscenities at the kids (good call Momboelitist).
- Philly fans actually don't care about baseball. Tune into WIP or ESPN radio anytime of year, including during the heat of a pennant race, and I guarantee that 90% of the time it will be some idiot calling in talking about the Eagles.
- You're mocking Keith Hernandez? Gary Matthews has not said a single insightful thing about the game ever. Is he gone yet? Oh yeah, don't forget the Phillies most well-known announcer is best known for football.
- When you argue that all the Met prospects are hyped up you conveniently forget the ones who have exceeded their billing - Reyes, Wright, Isringhausen, Kazmir, just to name a few. Welcome to baseball, douche.
- Phillies fans don't realize that the Yankees and their fans are even bigger douches than the Phillies and their fans, though in different ways.
- The Giants and Dodger franchises didn't fold, they moved. Douche.
- You may not like the Mets colors, but the Phillies are named after girl horses and wear purple. Pretty clear that's more effeminate and douchey.
-Phils games are on Comcast Sportsnet. Not douchey, but evil. (Yes, I know SNY is partly owned by Comcast)

To be fair, I'll complement the Phils and their fans on a couple of things:
-The Phanatic is awesome. Best mascot in sports.
-Food at Citizens Bank Park is terrific, just wish the lines weren't so long.
-Tickets are cheaper here than in NY. That helps.
by MJ on February 26th 2009 11:16 AM

you leave Sarge out of this!
by Phil Lee on February 26th 2009 11:25 AM

Jerk. Mets won't choke this year.
by Metfreak on February 26th 2009 11:48 AM

It really shows class when a "reporter" writes a story and has douchebag in the title. This is what I have come to expect from Phili fans. This is not even the worst article based on this premise coming from a Phili reporter. Its also embarrassing that someone would actually publish this.

I really don't have to sit here and insult this author because he is only trying to get a rise out of met fans.

I'm at least glad that the Mets website I visit won't allow discussion on this topic because we don't really care what Phili fans think.
by Mike on February 26th 2009 12:16 PM

@Metfreak: Well reasoned counter-point. You've totally convinced me.
by brian howard on February 26th 2009 12:25 PM

Also, the Mets have owned the Phillies starting pitcher, for years!!!
by Eric Hart on February 26th 2009 2:11 PM

You know, some of the points made in this diatribe do have some validity. However, it continues to amaze me how the Phillies and their fans continue to obsess over a team they beat out 2 years in a row! The Phillies are the older, more established franchise, yet they continue to act like they are the kid brother that even when he beats his older brother still has to continue to point out how good he is. Seriously Philadelphia, grow up and start acting like champions.
by Mike on February 26th 2009 2:31 PM

What's the hardest part of being a Mets fan?

Telling your parents that you're gay.
by Chase Mutley on February 26th 2009 2:44 PM

What's the hardest part of being a Philles fan?

Telling your parents you wish you were gay!
by Eric Hart on February 26th 2009 2:53 PM

I love how he thinks all met fans break out Yankee caps in october... 9/10 met fans HATE the Yankees...

And theres also the fact that we shouldnt root for them cuz they havent been better than the Yankees.... Thats like telling everyone to root for whoever won the world series....(Oh wait i get it now... he wants more phillies fans)

You forget in the 80s the Mets ran NY and the Yankees sucked... But people arent front-runners like phillies fans
by Jeff on February 26th 2009 3:29 PM

Say it to Jose's face? What's he gonna do, run around real fast?

Actually love Jose, but Bernard Hopkins he ain't
by Philly Max on February 26th 2009 3:35 PM

I just wish the Philly fans would GROW UP !! You make it IMPOSSIBLE for a fan, other than your own to ENJOY , a game, in your Park .. What a sad representation of a great city!
by Gerri Dempsey on February 26th 2009 4:38 PM

I hope Phillie fans are as embarrassed by this garbage disguised as an article, as I am. The people that have perpetrated this crap on the rest of the world, are really messed up in the head if they are serious, and they are morons if they are joking. You make the call.
by Tom Seaver on February 26th 2009 6:36 PM

http://www.pricedoutoftheciti.com/2009/02/letter-to-e-james-beale-of-philadelphia.html
by Priced Out of The Citi on February 26th 2009 6:37 PM

You won for the first time and your wiener grew from 1 to 2 inches long, congrats.
by JR on February 26th 2009 7:58 PM

Go Cards! Go Yadi Molina, the Met-killer!

xoxox from the StL!
by StanTheMan on February 26th 2009 10:52 PM

Congrats on your World Series, Philadelphia. That's a great start. Really. I mean, the World Series is a big deal. It's just that, y'know, the Super Bowl is so much more better and more important. In New York we've experienced both so take my word for it. You guys should really try winning Super Bowl some time.

Good luck with that.
by Dave on February 27th 2009 10:31 AM

In my opnion Philly fans are the most rotten fans in the country. I have seen them destroy their own city after a loss, I hav e meen to both Eagle games and Phillie games the lack of respect it appaulling,Its just a game get over it. Also IMO the world series was handed to them when the game was rained out. IMO that game should have been either played to its compleation or started over. It was a HUGH advantage to the Phils to pick up where the umps stopped. Fresh bodies and more outs hummm... And as for the the Mets losing Injuries will do that for you . They did not choak last year, just without a bullpen it is hard to win. Granted the Phill were handed the WS but don't think it will be that easy this year.If any of you philly fans have read (or can even read) the Mets have made some pitching additions and I don't think closing a game this year will be a problem. Good Luck to the Phillies I think they are gonna need it....
by Packratt on February 27th 2009 10:58 AM

Phillies>Mets... simple math
even a New Yorker can under stand that, right?
by Tim on February 27th 2009 11:39 AM

Who wrote this? A 5th grader? What will your next article be? Why the Mets are poo poo heads? I suppose if I lived in Philly I would call people childish names too. The whole city of Philly has a Napoleon complex. If you dont know what that means ask your mommy or daddy to look it up in an encyclopedia for you.
by Mikey on February 27th 2009 11:50 AM

Is this an actual newspaper? How embarrassing. This should further explain why Philly fans have such a horrible reputation. It's because you've earned it! Who could take this crap seriously? And by the way, Tim, even most of your idiotic friends can "under stand" that understand is one word. Your English is almost as bad as your "math".
by Wow... on February 27th 2009 1:57 PM

Hey Wow...
It's You're not your... so shut the fuck up
by Tim on February 27th 2009 5:43 PM

You just won the world series and this is what you're writing about? How can you still be such bitter ass holes? Oh wait, I know how. It's because you live in Philadelphia: http://www.planetizen.com/node/27872
by Transplanted New Yorker in Philly on February 28th 2009 2:39 PM

so who wants to break the bad news to Tim?
by Phil Lee on February 28th 2009 6:00 PM

tim you should check "you're" grammar text book from 3rd grade
by MJ on March 1st 2009 1:16 PM

Please remember that Philly fans hate Santa and threw snow balls at him!
by eddyrice on March 1st 2009 11:20 PM

2008 philadelphia phillies are the worst team ever to win an effing world sereis in the history of baseball.u just got lucky you didn't face the mets in the playoffs as we did own you guys all season or boston in the world sereis as that team from beantown would of bitch slapped the phils. so you and your whole city and your collection of 270 hitters can get over yourselves you just got lucky.and thats the reason the phillies and there fans r douchebags
by mikey the mets fan and silly philly hater on March 2nd 2009 12:54 AM

"Awe, they booed santa". What are you guys a bunch of homos?
by ballzy on March 3rd 2009 7:52 PM

As a Philly fan, I do not approve of this column. Thanks for nothing, again, City Paper.
by Housh on March 4th 2009 11:14 AM

"IMO that game should have been either played to its compleation or started over. It was a HUGH advantage to the Phils to pick up where the umps stopped."

I'm not sure how you can come to this conclusion without being biased. The game should have been stopped long before it was. MLB was waiting for the Rays to score so they could justify stopping it. No advantage to the Phillies whatsoever.

Plus they were already up 3 games to 1, so that's hardly having the series "handed to them."
by realistic fan on March 4th 2009 7:53 PM

r u serious? whoever wrote this is a douchebag for spending the time to actually write off reyes. does jimmy rollins really hav to say stuff? jus stfu and pay attention to ur team. hes like the little annoying class nerd tht says shit nd bothers u all the time and doesnt stop cuz hes a fag. nd cole hamels has absolutely NO reason to say shit about the mets. hey cole, how bout u beat the mets once or twice before u say stuff. last time i checked u were 0-2 with like a 6 era in 08, and ur manager is a pussy and always skipped ur strt wenever u were gonna face johan and the mets cuz he knos tht the mets r gunna rock ur shit nd tht johan is just gonna put the icing on the cake. so stfu about the mets. just face it theyre better no matter wat has happened the past 2 years.
by pete on March 6th 2009 10:26 PM

hmm, now im a die hard Phillies Fan, its my home-town team, so i love them, and yea i do kinda hate the Mets, except for a few Players i.e. David Wright, the rest are all a bunch of Jerks as far as i am concerned. What I don't understand is all angry-rants aside, isn't whatever Team Won the Division, let alone the World Series automatically the Team to Beat? Theres no doubt the Mets got 2 of the Best Bullpen Guys in the Game, but sadly, the WHOLE Team is based off of 1 Pitcher, and thats Johan, if he gets hurt, that'll Kill the Mets
by Nize on March 9th 2009 11:51 PM

hmm, now im a die hard Phillies Fan, its my home-town team, so i love them, and yea i do kinda hate the Mets, except for a few Players i.e. David Wright, the rest are all a bunch of Jerks as far as i am concerned. What I don't understand is all angry-rants aside, isn't whatever Team Won the Division, let alone the World Series automatically the Team to Beat? Theres no doubt the Mets got 2 of the Best Bullpen Guys in the Game, but sadly, the WHOLE Team is based off of 1 Pitcher, and thats Johan, if he gets hurt, that'll Kill the Mets
by Nize on March 10th 2009 12:13 AM

Philly fans are just mad that they have to be Phillies fans. The true Philladelphia team called the Athletics who still have more rings than the phillies abandoned them, and forced them to root for Garbage
by Mr. Met on March 19th 2009 10:11 PM

Philly Fans SUCK, the City Sucks, The team Sucks and anyone who has anything to do with that franchise , like crater face Schmidt , also SUCKs !!

by Greatest Mets Fan on March 25th 2009 1:35 PM

You know whats funny? All of these angry mets fans have said NOTHING that contradicts the articles' "Facts." All they can really do is spew venom at Philly because its a Philly article and because if they come down here and start talking, we will kick the crap out of them. This is the typical Met fan: Angry, yet cowardly. Quite frankly, if I was raised to be a Met fan, I would realize that suicide is the only way out...lol...douchebags!!!
by Jay on April 7th 2009 4:09 PM

this the best thing I've ever read. fuck the mets and their daddy's too. They don't got shit on the phillies and you say it doesn't matter if they won, but if it was the other way around and the mets won then it would matter right? yeahh well come see us when you win. bye.
by your mom on April 13th 2009 4:59 PM

fuck the mets.
by fuck the mets on May 14th 2009 9:50 PM

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