The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Philadelphia Newspapers LLC declares bankruptcy. "Don't worry. It's just a procedural thing," assures Brian Tierney, "I'll still get paid plenty." Minus 7

Catholic Archdiocese launches new fundraising campaign but admits the current economic downturn is a "cause for concern." "Don't worry. I'll still get paid plenty," assures Tierney. Even

Teachers at the Wakisha Charter School become the third group from city charter schools to unionize. "We intend to negotiate in good faith," says principal, locking the front door behind her for the last time. Plus 1

The only East Coast tryouts for The Real World will be held in Philadelphia at the Raven Lounge. "Ew, I am not going to Philadelphia," says Long Island co-ed who one day hopes to have a foursome with two waiters and an aspiring DJ on national TV. Plus 4

The prosecution rests in Vince Fumo's trial, saying the embattled former state senator lived in "Fumo World." Without paying taxes. Plus 2

Philadelphia Mural Arts will host community forums to decide on a theme for its 25th anniversary mural project. The leading contender is "fundraising." Even

Officials say they have less than half the donations needed for city pools this summer. "So you could pony up," says spokesman. "Or we could distribute 12 dirty shoes for throwing over power lines. It's your summer, Philadelphia." Minus 3

The EPA awards Philadelphia $2 million to develop a contamination detection system for drinking water. "A little late, don't you think?" asks Little Timmy Four Feet from Grays Ferry. Plus 2

Total Pluses: 9

Total Minuses: 10

Total for the Week: -1

Last Week's Total: -2