Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

"I'm not dying." That's what The Legendary Wid said when I joked about the reason he's getting roasted by funny or potentially funny people March 12 as part of Backseat Film Festival's 941 Theater run. Philly's pope of prop 'n' pun comedy has been doing this since Don Rickles had hair and Norm Crosby knew but two malapropisms. "They're doing it cuz I'm a frickin' legend," laughs Wid. "I bestow sage knowledge upon them. I've helped many comics get started on a low-level basis." Does he mean he's helped low-level comics? "Those too." Roasters Chip Chantry, Benny Michaels, Scott Johnston and Richie Redding will return the tough love Wid's given them since he started doing open mic Wednesdays throughout Philly some 20 years ago (he's been at Laff House for eight). Wid expects nothing less. "I'm looking forward to having my foibles pointed out to me." And what about that dying thing I kidded about? "That would be funny," says Wid about having to croak to get a roast. "If I was going to catch a disease, these next few days would be the time to do it."

► Speaking of Philly-ans who deserve to be roasted, Lustful Russ Goetz of The Warm Jets and Carlos Kamakaze from Pure Hell certainly put their time in during punk's cockiest golden era. Each bashed, crashed and got managed by David Carroll. They've tried reformation. Within the last year, though, they've joined forces with singer Blakk Diamond (she from Godsend, the band that became Skid Row) and re-constructed themselves into the snorting prog-metal Kamakaze. Grr. They'll play National Mechanics March 16 with Baptist Preachers guitarist John Cecil Price's self-named Sun-Ra-like orchestra making its debut that night along with Woodshop Films' Andrew Geller's punk-rock vids and the second screening of director Bob Tronieri's Unmasked. It's a dark sibling rivalry flick from Tattooed Mom's bartending legend.

► Amber No. 2. Coquelicot No. 24. These aren't perfumes or secret codes. Or are they? These are but two of the things Lior Lev Sercarz of La Boite a Epices will bring to his pal chef Michael Solomonov's "Night of Spice" dinner at Zahav, March 12. Solomonov and Sercarz will pair five wines and courses, with each dinner delight featuring another of Sercarz's secret spices. "I want chefs to come to my spices with their own recipes and their own inspirations whether it's for savory or for sweet," says Sercarz. "Michael certainly does that." Check out Meal Ticket on March 12 for more.

► Cops have it hard. Old City's sanctuary/spa Terme Di Aroma knows it. That's why the Third Street holistic day spa is, starting March 12, giving free massages twice weekly to Philadelphia police officers. They'll even open early to do so — like 9:30 a.m. This ain't rare as TDA's ownership has been about community outreach and neighborhood safety since its start. This is all pending FOP approval.

► Know how Brett Perloff's Walnut St. Strongbox (opening March 11? He denies it. Maybe March 18?) is around the corner from Pearl, the Chestnut drinkery he owns part of but is in a war of hate with its other owners, the Stein Bros? Strongbox will be dedicated to top-money drinks in a hideout prive atmosphere. But two weeks ago Pearl opened a Moet Gold Cage: $1,000 to rent, three bottles of Moet White Star Magnum underneath its sliding door, with a private room and bodyguard to go with it. Does Perloff NOT see that as a swipe to his concept, right down to the box? Will Strongbox consultant/jeans-magnate Wayne Schulick suggest bigger bodyguards? Stay tuned.

HALF OFF DEPOT

Why live life at full price?

► Friday the 13th? I dare you to check out nervy Spank Rock's all-new, all-big-band live set at Pure with Hearts Revolution for Making Time. Dave P's got Sebastien Teller booked for the next Time. But a blast of new Spank material is necessary now. DO THIS. Plus the spooky 13th is an apt day for Radio Eris to debut a new drummer and to re-open Eris Temple (602 S. 52nd) with Justin Duerr. If you have a fast broom on the 13th you can hit all the haunts. Mwhaha.

► I Clogged it last week but there's more: Mia Sognio's Joe Polutro is doing a steakhouse/gentleman club at 6130 Passyunk, a 30,000-square-foot thing called Christine's Cabaret, with a restaurant called RARE within it. The Italian steakhouse/meat 'n' meet joint should be ret to go April 15.

► We know MC UhOh Blue Maxx Goat and Black Landlord are doing a pre-CD release party March 14 at Johnny Brenda's. But with it being a Kenzinger brew Beer Week event, make sure somebody remembers to pack the CDs when it's over.

► WHOWHATWHERE: At Johnny Brenda's Black Lips gig? The A's Richard Bush. At Standard Tap, having a cocktail? Kevin Bacon. At Ralph's the day before his Limoncello liquor event? Danny DeVito. I got a call from a source while DeVito was booze-shilling at the Flower Show who said he heard someone close to DD talking about them investing in that bar with Always Sunny in Phila boss/co-star Rob McElhenney. Either my friend was drunkenly misshaping reality or something's brewing.

► Tariq Trotter is on the list for preachy writer/director Mark Webber's Philly-filmed Explicit Ills' screening at the Ritz Bourse March 13. And the next morn Trotter's Roots partner, ?uestlove, hosts a Red Bull Music Academy lecture at Larry Gold's The Studio.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)