Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

Maybe I'm still misty about Harry Kalas and the fragile state of Phillies' fans. Or I'm preparing to lose Shank's & Evelyn's — tripe 'n' all — since it's moving from 10th to 15th. Or maybe I'm just hearing the Real Housewives of New Jersey in my head like a loop. This week I'm having a love affair with everyday Philly neighborhood people and the manner in which they speak. (Heck, me, too, after I've spent an afternoon at my parents'.) The way "sh" and "r" gets included in the weirdest places when we're tawlking. I was listening to Philly's match-making love guru Steve Ward on Tough Love the other night. He might've filmed in L.A. but listen to him say "schreeet" and it's just like he's back home.

►Writer/producer Sal Mazzotta sounds like that, like every relative of mine sitting around a table on Bancroft Street, smoking Marlboros, drinking juice glasses of red wine in little sips, talking about the spouses and griping about money. When he calls, I pick up first ring. "You know the song, 'Hush Little Baby'?" asks Mazzotta right away. "It's familiar from when you were a baby, right?" Yeah, Sal. You're scaring me here. That's his point. "You're never going to think of it in the same way." Mazzotta, famous for Gone and Mafioso: The Father, the Son (and acting in Tony Luke's The Nail) was doing pre-production on Mafioso II when he heard that lullaby in his head. Instead of a sweet child's chime, the song'll be a subversive soundtrack to what Mazzotta's calling a "sick, twisted, psychologically very disturbing" film about the Taft family's house of horrors. He'll shoot in the same Bucks County locations M. Night Shyamalan used for several of his films. Only this time you'll enjoy the results. "After the first two minutes, you'll be hooked." Look for Mazzotta and his still-casting creepfest on da block, cous.

►Speaking of neighbuhood filmmakehs, Twin Valley High grad-u-ate Randy "Scooter" Lammey is Kicking the Dog. I'm uncertain what that title means but the Irish-American gent who won a national YouTube contest for his music vid for Pawnshop Roses (who supplied some soundtrack music here) crafted one of the best-looking local films I've seen in some time. Blame Daniel Watchulonis (The 4th Dimension) for the snappy photography. Scooter's raunchy sex-in-college comedy got released on DVD April 21 through MTI Home Video — a big deal for vid distribution.

► And while screenwriting blogger/first-time director Steve C. (PhillyBoyinLA.com) just held the world première for his television pilot Little Hollywood at the Nashville Film Festival, director Peter Liechti is sending the Drag City première of his newest Roman Signer road doc DVD, Signer's Suitcase, to National Mechanics' Danny + Dani film-music-comic salon April 27.

► Want interviews with neighborhood guys — Philly writer Thomas Hine, Brooklyn's Andrew Dice Clay — about what they're doing here April 24? Want gossip about what moved into the old Echochic and Maggie's? Head to Ice online, citypaper.net/icepack.

Sorry to race ahead to next week, but I'll have some news from the man who's booking the Piazza at Schmidt's: my Ropeadope buddy/Baby Loves Disco daddy Andy Hurwitz. Not only does he have me speaking to his music biz class at Temple, he's got me programming some wack events at the Piazza. My fave'll be the one where my face gets blasted onto the jumbo Daktronics HD LED screen while Black Landlord or Baptist Preachers rawks out onstage. More later.

► We're hearing the funnest rumor that Ozzie Jones — author, theater guy, rapper — perhaps in his Old Man alter ego, is getting his Gnarls Barkley-like hip-hop act (with cats like Chops, Mr. Cisumand Grand Agent) signed to One Little Indian, a label best known for Bjšrk records. Jones has previously done his rap routine for a few years (under his name, and under the name Name) and dropped EPs such as Artist of the Yeah with Schoolly D. Stay tuned.

► Speaking of Schoolly, his missus Jennifer Ramsay — internationally known stylist for Cameron Diaz, Eve and Patti LaBelle — until a few months ago ran the retro-future Rittenhouse Row clothing store Echochic. There she sold TRIPP NYC, Follies Paris and tight leather from Daryl K and Rebecca Dannenberg. But she closed up shop and moved her styling business (and her husband) next door toRuffhouse's Chris and Myrna Schwartz.

► But guess who's taking over Ramsay's old Echochic shop at 15th and Sansom for a new clothing dynasty? Sarah Van Aken — she of men's custom shirt design fame and Sa Va women's clothing. Look for a late summer shoppe opening. Kisses.

► Another renowned lady who opened a shop where a famous woman once stood is Second Street Annie's — the dueling 88s piano bar that Ann Stimmler opened last week of March. Blogger/bartender to the stars Classic Mark Sheldon gave me this tip back then but that's what happens when you take a note on a cocktail napkin written in crayon and underlined by blood. Front and Fairmount's old Maggie's space houses Stimmler's piano bar from its original home in Wildwood. While the pianos are on the first floor (look for Steve Obadashian on Thursdays) of the Front and Fairmount spot, the second floor is currently being called "the Tramp Bar." Howzcome? Check 2ndstannies.com.

► Guess what opened last Saturday? Todd Carmichael's new La Colombe Café at Prince and Lafayette in NYC. And he didn't even have to climb a snowy mountain cap to do so. BORING.

► On April 25 when Absinthe Drinkers hit Moonstone Art Center on 13th Street, they're mere feet from the Time Café where the green fairy is sold. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

► Am I hearing right — that U2 aren't hitting one of our two stadiums until June 2010?

HALF OFF DEPOT

Why live life at full price?

► The Bus Stop Brit shoe boutique on S. Fourth Street is having a birthday April 24 and serving cupcakes, champagne and Maybelline Lash Stiletto Mascara with every purchase — I'm buying.

► Hey Philly's Thomas Hine. I know you from when you was the design + architecture critic for theInquirer, your consumerist jawn I Want That! and, of course, The Rise and Fall of the American Teenager. But your new book, The Great Funk, just dropped on paperback and you're joining forces with film-showing doyen Jay Schwartz for The Secret Cinema at Moore College of Arts' 1970s fest screening/talk The Great Funk on April 24. ("Yes I used the name of Hine's book," says Schwartz) at 20th and Race. So, Hine, it wasn't too long ago that this city was still a holdover from that era — what are Philadelphia's still-standing touchstones? How does Philly rate as a grimy '70s remnant? "One of the most important phenomena of the '70s was the emergence of both an aesthetic and ethic of salvage," says Hine. "The good thing about the '70s in Philadelphia is that it was when we first started, in earnest, to salvage buildings and neighborhoods. We developed a flea market spirit, and what emerged was Old City. My favorite piece of Philadelphia architecture from the '70s remains Franklin Court, which was based on what was, for architects, a revolutionary notion — that sometimes not building a building is best. Franklin Court needs some loving attention right now." Tear the roof off the muzza-sucka, Tom. I'll Clog more Hine Friday.

► WHOWHATWHERE: VIP rapper and Philly expat Jonny Makeup's "daddy" Dov Charney — founder of American Apparel, and a man currently stuck in alleged sexual harassment allegations from previous employees of AA — is now barking at Woody Allen. The Woodman has, according to IMDB, "accused lawyers for American Apparel of launching a "scorched earth" defense against Allen's $10 million lawsuit against the clothing company. Remember Allen doesn't endorse any products. IMDB goes on to state that "Allen claimed in his suit that by using his image on billboards and its website, American Apparel damaged his reputation. But lawyer Stuart Slotnick, representing the company, said, in effect, that Allen had no reputation to defend, citing the scandal over his breakup with actress Mia Farrow over his relationship with her adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, whom Allen later married." YUCKY STUFF. Hey. We know that before she sold out the TLA, Brit luuvly Lily Allen (nice pink glasses, Lil) hid tix around Philly — the top of Rocky at the Art Museum, in LOVE Park. How do we know? She Twittered 'em — twitter.com/lilyroseallen/statuses/1554011125.

►Bullwinkle Entertainment Inc. — our heaviest of old metal amigos — is now the promoter and booker for Friday and Saturday night shows at The Cherrywood in Clementon, N.J. Starting April 24 — the BEI kickoff —Anthony Renzulli Band and Rivers Monroe stomp the house with weekends featuring Sounds From Atlantis, Sex Slaves, Blue Sinatra, Flux Capacitor, Joshua Kruse and the band of 1,000 names and more to come. Bullwinkleentertainment.com, yo.

► To celebrate the fact that Andrew "Dice" Clay — rude comic, Brooklynite — first showed off his chops to the world at large on his first HBO special in Philadelphia, called The Diceman Cometh, in 1989, Clay returns to the scene of the crime by hitting Glenside's Keswick Theater April 24. "I always did great playing Clay Heery's Comedy Factory Outlet," says Clay talking about his past victories in Philly. "Next to the Garden, the Spectrum is probably my most favorite arena show." Along with talking about Donald Trump (Dice was the first to be ousted from this season's still runningCelebrity Apprentice 2) and how his ex and he fought over why Brooklyn bests Philly any day, Clay revealed a secret about his Philadelphia fashion history. "There is A Man's Image on Passyunk Avenue in South Philadelphia. Those are the suits that you see me in on The Apprentice." See more from Clay on the Clog.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)