The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

+ 1 Former mayoral candidate Sam Katz is making an eight-hour documentary on the history of Philadelphia. It's called The Shame of a City: The Early Years.

+ 1 Fire Commissioner Lloyd Ayers says response times have not been affected by the closing of five engine and two ladder companies in January. "Which is not to say that, when my men get to a fire, they wouldn't prefer to have trucks."

0 The annual Shoutouts issue of Penn's 34th Street magazine, featuring anonymous "the meaner, the better" messages, hits stands today. Dear Penn Kids, Only a coward would hide behind anonymity, you trust-fund-having, boat-shoe-wearing virgins. Sincerely, The Bell Curve Staff

+ 2 The Justice Department will make recommendations on how to make polling places more accessible to the disabled. For instance: not so many rope ladders.

- 1 Three dogs block rush-hour traffic when they wander onto Roosevelt Boulevard. "One dog we could have handled," says Streets Department. "But three? We just called it a night and sent everyone home."

+ 2 Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey renews efforts to stop speeding on Lincoln Drive. "That's why I'll be releasing dogs into traffic once in a while," says Ramsey. "Just thought of it a second ago."

+ 1 The Encyclopedia of Greater Philadelphia is expected to be completed by 2014. Working title: The Unabridged Shame of a City.

+ 3 Pride, Prejudice and Zombies is the first New York Times best-seller for Quirk Books. It tops their previous big hit, A Mildly Funny List of Things that Took a Whole Weekend of Googling to Assemble.

+ 2 After receiving a life sentence for using his record company as a drug front, Philly rap mogul "Ace Capone" Coles says, "I don't think life is deserved for selling drugs." He continues: "Now,all the tax evading I've been doing..."

0 Former Apprentice cast member Erin Elmore wins the Dancing with the Philadelphia Stars contest. First prize is a dance with a star.

This Week's Total: 11 | Last Week's Total: -10