June is the American Humane Association's Adopt-A-Cat Month. Go to a local shelter, like Morris Animal Refuge (1242 Lombard St.), or check phillypaws.org to find a feline friend of your very own. Or rebel and pick up a pooch. —ME

Uruguayan author/soccer fanatic Eduardo Galeano (South America's Howard Zinn?) denies he's a historian, but rather "obsessed with remembering [the past] of Latin America, intimate land condemned to amnesia." His new Mirrors: Stories of Almost Everyone is told in a spellbinding cascade of rapid-fire vignettes. 7:30 p.m., free, Central Library, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —BH

Aww: Recently ordained funnyman Tony Braithwaite's renewing audience members' vows during 1812 Productions' season-closing Let's Pretend We're Married. Isn't it romantic? Through June 14, $32, Prince Music Theater, 1412 Chestnut St., 215-592-9560, 1812productions.org. —CH

The first time I went to Karaoke Obscura (aka indie karaoke), someone earnestly sang Radiohead's "The Bends." It was terrible. Then I sang Björk's "Hunter." It was worse — and so much fun, especially when someone finally came to their senses and belted the Kinks. 9 p.m.-2 a.m., free, 12 Steps Down, 831 Christian St., 215-238-0379, myspace.com/karaokeobscura. —HO

Put your fancy pants on for the Rittenhouse Square Fine Arts Festival. That way if you can't spend major funds supporting local artists, at least you'll look pretty while you meander empty-handedly. Through June 7, 11 a.m.-7 p.m., Rittenhouse Square, rittenhousesquarefineartsshow.org. —CH

The Roots annual picnic is hot as hell — in temperature and line-up. This year's sweat fest features Public Enemy, who'll perform a classic track with backup from The Roots and Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra. Totally worth the sunburn! 2 p.m., $47.50-$51, with The Roots, TV on the Radio, Black Keys, Public Enemy, Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra, Santigold, Busdriver, Asher Roth, Kid Cudi, King Britt, Dozia, Dave P and Writtenhouse, Festival Pier, Penn's Landing, Columbus Blvd. and Spring Garden St., okayplayer.com/rootspicnic. —DD

For one utopian day each Pennsylvania summer, the laws don't exist — the fishing laws, that is. At Fish for Free, you can throw out a provided-for-you line and hope some shad, rainbow trout or other native fishies come up, all without a license. 10 a.m., free, Ridley Creek State Park, 1023 Sycamore Mills Road, 610-892-3908, dcnr.state.pa.us. —HO

Philly's Illinois made a Ziggy Stardust-on-The Wall-sounding Adventures of Kid Catastrophe that's mammoth yet delicately detailed. Watch the films they made to go with each track (they're equally fierce); Glam cabaret goddess Nicki Jaine (Illinois is producing her CD) helps out, too. 9 p.m., free, National Mechanics, 22 S. 3rd St., 215-701-4883, nationalmechanics.com. —ADA

Have a New Yorker cover idea? Maybe Obama riding a unicorn through an E-ZPass lane while Twittering? Yell it out while illustrators Adrian Tomine and Seth are trying to read and sign their new books. 7:30 p.m., free, Central Library, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —PR

All month the Hidden City Festival revamps Philly's forgotten landmarks. The two-nights-only live music/film/video installation Re-Sounding breathes new life into the Royal Theater, once a hub for African-American performing arts. 8 p.m., $20, Royal Theater, 1524 South St., hiddencityphila.org. —CH

Go local, culinarily. Join a food co-op, like Weavers Way or West Philly's Mariposa, and from this day forward eat only Philly-area edibles. Delish. —ME

Three of the main Mystery Science Theater guys/robots return under the Cinematic Titanic banner to mock East Meets Watts (Friday) and Danger on Tiki Island (Saturday). 7 p.m., $38, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-LIVE, cinematictitanic.com. —PR

For those missing the boom in your stereo or bap in your beats, some trailblazers in hip-hop are descending on the city. Who, you ask? KRS-One, for starters. Need we say more? 8 p.m., $30-$45, with Poor Righteous Teachers and Roxanne Shante, Club Polaris, 460 N. 9th St., ticketmaster.com. —DD

Philly Pride celebrates all that's LGBTQ, including an appearance by a very special guest (hint: "Can we tawk?"). Festivities start with a parade featuring gay all-stars (athletic and religious groups, drag queens, bears, twinks in Speedos on the back of flat beds) and ends with a six-hour outdoor tour, featuring entertainment, food and cocktails. Parade starts at 13th and Locust, ends at Front and Market streets, noon-6 p.m., $10, 215-875-9288, phillypride.org. —NHM

Fuel yourself with falafel. It's exotic because it's Middle Eastern, but it's American because it's fried. Try everyone's favorite chickpea and pita pocket from such esteemed establishments as Alyan's (603 S. 4th St.), Maoz (248 South St.), South Street Souvlaki (509 South St.) and K&H Kebab House (611 E. Passyunk Ave.), all in a three-block radius. —MS

Bloomsday comes but once a year (thank god) and, as usual, Rosenbach Museum & Library is hosting Philadelphia's marathon Ulysses reading. Guest readers include Marty Moss-Coane, Lynne Abraham and Lord Whimsy; they're even "live-tweeting" the event, which we imagine goes something like, @rosenbachmuseum: "Inga Saffron just slipped into an Irish accent. LOL." 2008 Delancey Place, 215-732-1600, rosenbach.org. —CH

It's 2:15 a.m. The bars are closed but a post-midnight snack is screaming "Yo!" from Washington Ave. Pedal wobbily over to the Center City Pretzel Co. (816 Washington Ave.) and you'll be greeted by steaming, oven-fresh soft pretzels. Get three for $1, with unlimited squirts of mustard. —HR

It's coincidence that Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie grew up in a home once occupied by Chinua Achebe. But for Adichie, who studied briefly at Drexel, living in the legend's old digs was inspirational. Her Half of a Yellow Sun tackles, a la Achebe, the Biafran War of the late '60s. 7:30 p.m., free, Central Library, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —BH

For those in need of a drink as well as a little brain stimulation, join the sassy ladies of Dr. Sketchy's burlesque troupe at this sexy, circus-inspired evening full of fringe, free drinks and drawing. 7-10 p.m., $12-$20, Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catharine St., drsketchyphilly.com. —CS

The Second Street Festival will be fun not just for the Popped! stage (featuring Benjy Ferree, Blood Feathers, et al.), but because for the first time ever it will feel safe to step off the sidewalk at Second and Poplar. Noon-8 p.m., free, poppedphiladelphia.org. —PR

Nerd Alert: This year's Wizard World comic con stars the people who played Darth Maul, the Lady Terminator and the Thug Who Killed Spiderman's Uncle. (Except we find out in Spidey 3 that Sandman really did it. Nerd Alert x 2.) June 19-21, $25-$30, Convention Center, 1101 Arch St., wizardworld.com. —PR

Escaping the city for greener pastures can be hard without a car. Good thing you've got your bike. The Schuylkill River Trail really gets good starting at the towpath in Manayunk. From there, you can cruise, traffic-free, all the way to Valley Forge and beyond. schuylkillriver.org. —IT

Feather your hair and break out the acid wash: Def Leppard, Poison and Cheap Trick are coming to town. See who can make the most inappropriate jokes about DL's one-armed drummer, Rick Allen, and don't forget to tell Rock of Love's Taya we say hi! 7 p.m., $24.75-$122.25, Susquehanna Bank Center, 1 Harbor Blvd., Camden, N.J., livenation.com. —ME

Be one with The Dude while enjoying a Coen Brothers classic: Take The Big Lebowski Challenge. How do you play? Every time Jeff Bridges' character downs a White Russian or — cough — ingests any other substances, you do the same. —MS

Subscribe to the pop-collared set? Or do you prefer your pants tight and your bandanas tied? Switch up your scene tonight. If you're an aspiring I-banker, hit up POPE (1501 E. Passyunk Ave.). If you don't know what an I-banker is, check out Buckhead Saloon (461 N. 3rd St.). Don't forget to dress the part. —ME

After a short hiatus, Dancin' in the Streets returns. The event mashes up art, culture and music to celebrate life and commemorate HIV Testing Day. As always, testing, info and counseling are available, confidential and free. 6 p.m., free, w/ DJ Rich Medina, Ethel Cee, Sagamoor, Flygirrl and more, Piazza at Schmidt's, 2nd St. and Girard Ave., flygirrl.com. —DD

Named for two traditional styles of Puerto Rican folk dance, the seventh annual Bomba and Plena Festival gets its groove on with Hispanic music, dance, art and food in North Philly. Traditional food dishes, like empanadillas and asopao, sizzle alongside the cool, melodious rhythms of local Hispanic musicians. Noon, free, Fairhill Park, Lehigh Ave. and 4th St., 215-220-5106. —NHM

Located in a mammoth brick warehouse with a creaky old elevator that has gates instead of a door, Vox Populi knows something about alternative art spaces. Good thing — Richard Torchia, a local photographer, will be giving a lecture there on the history of these spots in Philly. 4-6 p.m., free, Vox Populi, 319 N. 11th St., 3rd floor, 215-238-1236, voxpopuligallery.org. —HO

You don't need hypersensitive canine olfactory powers to know that Rittenhouse is a mecca for all things cute, leashed and furry. Celebrate the park's dog-friendliness by holding a petting contest with your friends. The person who scratches the ears of the most adorable pups in an allotted amount of time gets free beers at a bar of his/her choice. Our suggestion? Good Dog (224 S. 15th St.). —DL

With a book titled The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism, you might think prof Andrew Bacevich is your typical latte-sipping tree-hugger. But he's just your average retired colonel who lost a son in Iraq and opposed the war before it ever started. 7:30 p.m., free, Central Library, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —BH