Rung Turn

A perplexing drink selection and inconsistent eats are holding back Ladder 15.

by Trey Popp

Mark Stehle SOUP YOU CAN HOLD: Ladder 15's "chowda" flatbread is topped with clams, bacon and potatoes.

CORRECTION: Due to an editing error in the print edition of this review, the cocktails mentioned in first paragraph — the Fireman, the Fireman's Sour and the Fire Engine — were inaccurately attributed to Ladder 15. While these are real drinks, they do not appear on Ladder 15's cocktail list. CP apologizes for the error.

Firefighters have a drinking problem, and I wish it were only alcoholism. That would be less embarrassing than some of the cocktails that besmirch the profession's name. Take the Fireman, which dilutes vodka with cranberry juice and peach nectar. Or the Fireman's Sour, which dumps simple syrup, grenadine, lime juice and a maraschino cherry on top of brandy or light rum. And the less said about the Fire Engine, a teenage fantasy of Jagermeister and flavored soda, the better. For a line of work that counts grit and heroism as prerequisites, there is something distinctly gutless about these concoctions.

Ladder 15, an aspiring gastropub in a handsomely renovated old fire station on Sansom Street, might have tried to rectify this situation. Midway between Rittenhouse Square and City Hall, and just a few blocks from the high priests of mixology at APO Bar + Lounge, the place is well situated to attract sophisticated drinkers. But Mike Mastellone, Mike Kearney and Max Tucker, who also run the Mad River chain of bars, seemed to have had something else in mind.

The names of Ladder 15's specialty drinks are one clue. (For the record, none of the drinks mentioned above are mixed here.) Take the Thin Mint, Cherry Water Ice or Black & White Milkshake Martini, for three. Yet if anything, those titles understate this bar's dedication to the sugar fix. Chocolate shavings, cotton candy, Pop Rocks ... the ingredient list reads like the inventory of a Little League concession stand. If there's a form of glucose that can't be crammed into a cocktail glass, you'll find it painted on the rim, as with the Fun Dip Martini, starring Willy Wonka's DayGlo-hued dextrose powder. In case that's not enough to get you bouncing off the walls, you can have a glass of Champagne adulterated with Smirnoff White Grape and Red Bull.

If this kind of thing is up your alley, you'll love happy hour, when these drinks drop to $6 from the double digits. And you won't be alone. I felt ridiculous watching a bartendress in a low-cut top and high-cut shorts sprinkle Pop Rocks from a Three Olives-branded foil sachet into Three Olives Cherry vodka and lemonade. But the Cherry Water Ice, she told me over the din of the crowd, is the most popular drink they sell.

It tastes just like it sounds — which is to say you might need an insulin shot to make it to the bottom. That's too bad, because while the beer selection covers most of the bases, it lacks the sort of eccentricities that distinguish the leaders of the gastropub class.

Ladder 15's approach to alcohol seems a little strange considering that the food menu is designed (but not prepared) by Mike Stollenwerk, whose sophisticated cooking at Bella Vista's Little Fish has won national praise. But that, too, proved underwhelming. I was excited to see Stollenwerk's spin on pub fare, but with the exception of a couple decent lunch sandwiches, I'm not sure I ever got to. Everything I tried for dinner was marred by indifferent execution.

The "chowda" flatbread was as dry as its namesake is creamy. Chewy chopped shellfish shared space with bacon and sliced potatoes, some of which could have used more cooking. The flour-coated crust was neither crispy nor chewy — more like a big cracker that had been left unwrapped on a humid day. Underdone crab and corn hush puppies were mealy in the middle, and bland all the way through. Root beer-glazed pork ribs were tender, if one-dimensionally sweet, but "glaze" really wasn't the right word for those dull gray crescents, which made me think of cafeteria food. A side of roasted beets hadn't been roasted enough.

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Lunch was less mistake-prone, but priced above its merit. Sliced duck breast and Brie on an English muffin was satisfying, but not as distinctive as a $13 sandwich ought to be. Built along similarly simple lines was the $12 roast pork on a short roll, with intensely caramelized onions and provolone. There was an albino aspect to both these plates, as well, with not even a token tuft of salad greens to enliven the white-bread-and-potato-chip palette. And if you're going to charge $11 for seven chicken wings, the celery shouldn't be limp.

Ladder 15 deserves praise for rehabilitating this soaring, brick-lined interior — which a previous tenant had brought low with a drop ceiling. But two months after opening, careless cooking and cocktails make it difficult to take it seriously as a restaurant or a bar.

(t_popp@citypaper.net)

Ladder 15 | 1528 Sansom St., 215-964-9755, ladder15philly.com. Open daily, 11 a.m.-2 a.m. Lunch small plates, $5-$11; lunch large plates, sandwiches, $11-$13; dinner plates, $8-$14; sides, $5-$6; Wheelchair accessible