Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

►With American Idol over and the screams of a thousand tiny women (thanks, Adam Lambert) silenced (for now), I'd begun thinking what I wouldn't do to hear s'more competitive singing. It's harder and better than baseball at present and prissier, too (even if you consider how faaabulously cute the airbrushed Cole Hamels is of late). Then I read that Queen's Brian May's looking for a lead singer, that Duff McKagan's Velvet Revolver was, too, and thought "no way can this Lambert lady get all the work." So my mind rushed to which local roc-a-rollas might ably fill big rawker shoes. While it's fun to imagine Kurt Vile tackling the drama of "Tie Your Mother Down," Andy Armchair sliming to "Slither" or a cappella darlings Silver Ages barbershop-a-crooning "Fat Bottom Girls," the local best suited for a lead gig is Heather Lynne Zeo. She's got chops (Light as a Feather anyone?) and seems to have a vague idea how to lure those younger audiences. Ha cha.

► That reminds me. Kinky Quizzo at Valanni — you love it. But you really dig hostess-with-mostess Jen Karwoski. For four years, the curlicue redhead's made queries like "What is a butt pirate?" and thrown down the gauntlet of sex trivia. No more. "I'm going to Sweden for my brother's wedding and I'm staying awhile for myself," says Karwoski, who numbers amongst her fonder Kinky memories when Linda Evans, in town for that camp theatricale with Joan Collins (Legends), played and won. Now, Karwoski is not going into the dark night quietly. Her official torch-pass date is June 23 and, with A.D./Icepack helping, she'll search for a new host until her last kinky breath. Stay tuned.

► Pots-n-pans Eric Vincent: Some know him as a burgeoning author (Ejector Seat), or as host of his intimate musical Sessions @ The Westin. He's also a rough guitarist and a producer (his Curve Dominant moniker has recorded Anam Owili-Eger and Naeemah). And on June 1 the Eric Vincent JazzHopExperience will debut at National Mechanics with Come Dionysus' rhythm section, MC Uh Oh Blue/Maxx Goat from Black Landlord, earSnake rapper Jalima Shani and three-man-MC-team Inscrypshun, Napoleon and weatherPROOF. Afterward, to keep this week's Marshall Allen b-day celebration going, Philly filmmaker Ephraim Asili's Sun Ra Arkestra flick Points on a Space Age will screen.

► Freaky rumor-o-the-week: Did the Vasiliadis brothers (of Monkey Bar), while waiting to open their 19th and Walnut Kashmir lounge-a-raunt spot, just buy BUMP in the Gayborhood from the Weiss Bros? The Weisses own Pure and Woody's so they wouldn't miss it.

► I ran into legendary muralist/garden gallery CEO Joseph Tiberino at the Waverly Street Memorial Weekend block party. There the Ellen Powell Tiberino Museum-watchdog reminded me that his first fiction film (1985’s The Mural was more of a biographical mockumentary) The Museum will screen at the Troc May 28. Co-director Matthew Broomfield and Tiberino made a self-referential flick about an artist trying to find funding for an art-film: Imagine if Schnabel made Basquiat into Die Hard in Poweltown Village.

➤ When Frank Stallone shows up at JT’s Philadelphia House (7312 Castor) to jam with old Lincoln High schoolmates George Manney and Jeff Washington May 31 for the Tacony Jamboree and the opening of the new Lincoln High building, he ain’t just bringing a good attitude and the reel from his recent performance on — wait for it — Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!. The “Far from Over” singer/professional brother will have a Weinstein Co. film crew with him for the upcoming reality show on his life. Seriously. Additional live music (for the JT gig ) comes courtesy Nicky Indelicato (American Dream) and Stewkey (Nazz), the latter of whom’ll probably want to look up his old pal Rick Nielsen later this month when Cheap Trick hits Camden. Nielsen and Hank Ransome (drummer for Elizabeth) were bartenders at Artemis, and went on to be the guitar player and drummer for Sick Man of Europe with Stewky as lead singer and future Trick Tom Peterson. That didn’t work out well. So Rick and Tom went to Chicago, grabbed Robin Zander and Bun E. Carlos and became Cheap Trick to make you want them.

➤ After having invoked the spirit of Philly’s Kurt Vile above, I just wanted to make mention of the fact that his new “Beach on the Moon” track got a SPIN mag Mix section “Song you must hear now” nod. Which means SPIN is a mag you must see now.

➤ We luv-luv-luv finding Philly comedian Danny Ozark in the strangest places, whether it’s in our home or our clubs. But on May 31 Ozark does his standup act at the Le Femme Finishing School in Piscataway, N.J., prior to that org’s third annual 2009 Sissy Maid Competition (lefemmefinishingschool.com). “While I’m elated to be telling jokes at such a great event, I’m really looking forward to 2010 when after a year of intense ‘training’ I can enter the contest and be a World ‘Fucking’ Champion Sissy Maid,” says Ozark without joking.

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➤ WHOWHATWHERE: Man, that screaming Brit muthafucka from Hell’s Kitchen won’t leave Philly alone. After doing his kitchen makeover shoot at Hot Potato, chef Gordon Ramsay and three people had dinner at El Camino Real. Not too long after THAT, Ramsey showed up after hours at TIME on Sansom. Those in attendance said that Ramsey was a surprisingly “real nice guy and that his conk is even taller in person.” Fans of Halloween know that the now 61-year-old (just had a b-day) Stevie Nicks stops into Henri David’s Pine Street shop when she’s in town. Two weeks ago, though, she brought the entirety of Fleetwood Mac into David’s store and they all bought jewelry. “I’m still shipping their items to them, they bought so much,” says David, who is also currently looking after dancer/long-time love Paul Struck in recovery with a kidney thing. Get well, Paulie. Speaking of fashionistas, style blogger and interesting hat wearer Derek Warburton was at Philly Style’s opening party for that recently opened Barney’s shop and is supposedly running around Walnut Street bugging tony shop owners to be on his site’s online Web show. Then, there’s the story of John Legend and Schoolly D both at brunch at Fork on a Sunday. That’s right, gangsta rap’s godfather likes brunch at Fork when he isn’t busy at his new house in Gladwyne where wife Jen Ramsay has her Echochic boutique. Now that’s Gucci time. Anyway, I hear that Wayne Aretz, boyfriend of Fork proprietor Ellen Yin, walked up to Schoolly, dining with his wife, and said, “Hey, Schoolly, you know John Legend’s in the next room?” to which Schooly replied, “Does John Legend know Schoolly D is in the next room?” Classic funny Schoolly. And while we can’t vouch for how funny Best Week Ever’s Paul F. Tompkins was when he stopped at Ugly American over the weekend, we did hear he was chatty. There ya go: If you can’t tell jokes, be sociable.

➤ Before his Illinois wails its due-June 9 Kid Catastrophe CD and homemade movieola DVD during a National Mechanics June 8 release party, Chris Archibald will head to Khyber May 30 to be a judge for US Air Guitar Championships. Insert devil fingers. Past judges have included Malcolm Gladwell, Rachel Dratch from Saturday Night Live and Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords, so Arch is in good company.

➤ Turtle Studios owner and Pianadelphia producer Jay Levin and his wife Carolyn Zimmer Levin just welcomed a baby boy. And while Jay can neither confirm nor deny that Samuel David Levin is named after Sam & Dave, he will fess up to the fact that Turtle’s newest production, Chris Kasper’s Chasing Another Sundown, was released May 17 the same day Sam Levin was due to be released. “The CD arrived on time, but Sam was a few days late,” says Levin.

➤ And weddings — oh do I love weddings. While Metro Philadelphia’s city editor, Josh Cornfield, married Abbye Weingram at the Beth Sholom Congregation in Elkins Park last week, Kerri Lennon (bartender/manager, World Café Live) and Joshua Park (local singer-songwriter) are getting married at the First Unitarian Church on Saturday. Sean Agnew’s R5 ain’t making a dime off this one. While the happy couple expect the whole Amos Lee/Birdie Busch crowd in tow (better buy ’em a nice gift, Lee, you got that EMI-label fuck-you money), the pair will host their guests at a Mütter Museum after-soiree with Alo Brasil as their wedding band. Ole and congrats to all.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)