Now that local goofballs like El Wingador are getting into the ring for Damon Feldman's loopy Celebrity Boxing endeavors, it's getting harder to write about this stuff. Too many tears of laughter and sad disgust. Then you get this: June 20's bout with Augie Pantellas and Kendall Mckay. The legendary Pantellas is 65 years old, so it's painful, at first, to think the Broomall Bomber with a solid featherweight record of 28 and 6, with 20 knockouts, wants to screw that up being an opening act for lumps Michael Lohan and Jonny Fairplay ("If I beat Lohan, does that mean I get to go out with Lindsay? I hear she's back into guys this week," said Fairplay at CelebritySmack ). Plus Pa. Hall-o-Famer Pantellas hasn't gone the full round of a fight since 1979. Augie witnessed a Danny Bonaduce fight Feldman held and saw gold and green and wants in. Me? I saw red. Then I thought about it: This planet's asshole ageism must fall. My old man Tweets faster than me. Leonard Cohen sounds better than ever. George Foreman can grill your face at a moment's notice. Augie, knock the piss out of Mckay at the Airport Ramada then slap Fairplay for the fun of it.
►Tommy Up's burger bar P.Y.T. at La Piazza is getting more than a Josh McCullough (Time) menu and Milk 'N Honey-inspired cocktails when it opens softly July 3. PaperStreet's mustachioed chief (Dickey Betts meets John Holmes, that 'stache on Up) asked sculptor/light designer Adam Wallacavage to do P.Y.T.'s speakeasy portion, separate entrance 'n' all. Adam'll provide a massively muzzy chandelier, deer heads 'n' antlers, heavily theatrical curtains and furnishings. Already ret-to-sweat at da Piazza is East Coast Ghost/punk clothier Dennis McHugh's shop VIVE 1977. Expect kegs to burst when Strychnine Babies hold an all-day CD release party there June 27.
► Physical therapist Nina Hermann and RESIN/Science Fiction guitarist Jay Medley tie the knot June 20 on Martha Street in Port Fishington. For anybody punk enough, it's a happyday.
► Get ready for July cheapskate Francophiles: Le Bec-Fin's chef's table is hosting, Mondays through Thursdays, a tasting menu of four courses (appetizer, fish, meat and dessert) where you pay what you want — food, tip and all. Reserve early. The whole thing holds 20 tightwad mimes.
► Cheap Trick finally got down to business on The Latest and named a song after their roots with "Sick Man of Europe." David Carroll reminds me that Sick Man of Europe was the band guitarist Rick Nielsen had when he bartended Carroll's legendary pub/punk club Artemis with Sick Man drummer Hank Ransome. Stewkey from the Nazz was its singer. Waiter Tom Petersson played bass. "I think they played one gig," laughed Carroll. Rick and Tom went back to Chicago, nabbed Robin Zander and Bun E. Carlos and became the Trick you'll see at SusqueCenter June 23.
► With Phil Moore Brown on shaky ground (oh Gravy, don’t say it’s so) and London Victory Club an ongoing concern, drummer Chuck Duquense could be busier. He just found a way: a Sugar Smack Daddy reunion. City Paper discussed the complex pop-power-soul of Duquense, singer/guitarist Josh Slater and Ann Margaret-like bassist Aja Beech in April 1999. Now, that’s a long time between drinks. Sugar Smack Daddy will appear June 24 at The Balcony with Alien Architect and Lillie Ruth Bussey. Hugs and kisses.
➤ As if having Philly’s first LGBT TransHealth Fest weren’t enough, the whole thing ended with a bash at World Café Live featuring the ladies of Leda & the Swan starring Erin McGowan (think Elliott Smith meets Cherie Currie) with a drag-dressing John Cecil Price subbing for Meg Schneider that night on bass.
➤ More at the WCL: Don’t judge Center City’s Melody Gardot on her rendition of “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” for Chevy Malibu. Judge jazz’s golden girl on her Verve label My One and Only Thrill, how the whole thing lingers like a haunting refrain, a sip of burgundy brew, and other lines I stole from Sinatra. Or just hit World Café Live, June 18.
➤ If you haven’t been paying attention, Philly’s folk-psy gods Espers — while wrapping up their next Drag City LP due for Autumn ’09 — get their feet wet with live gigs throughout the next month. First Espers’ boss Greg Weeks and Meg Baird do a June 19 plastic exploding inevitable at Fleisher/Ollman Gallery with Alan Licht, Andy Lampert and Able Brown. Then the whole band just got added to E-Factory’s Fleet Foxes show July 29.
➤ Graphic painter/scary industrial musician Jon Canady doesn’t make much sound in public anymore so when he chooses to do so, lend an ear. Though you may not see Ice in time to get to see his new duo (with gal pal SQ) Sexual Assault Rifle debut at Weird in NYC (121 Chrystie) June 17, you can hear their analog synth stuff at myspace.com/sqsq. “Think early SPK and not Nine Inch Nails,” says Canady.
➤ Where in the world is Tony Luke Jr.? Hanging with Bobby Flay and Guy Fieri at Great American Food & Music Festival in Mountain View, Calif. — the Coachella of cuisine — encouraging non-believers to dig his frozen cheesesteaks or else.
➤ Nothing says Bordentown (eh?) like an Irish Pub opening. Nothing sucks face with Blarney Stones like getting Black 47 to open yer Pub June 19.
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