Craboratory

Bonk's Bar & Grille

by Felicia D'Ambrosio

Squatting on Richmond Street like an armadillo in neon eyeliner, Bonk's is a Port Richmond watering hole well-known for its exceptional blue crabs in "Bonk's Juice," a cayenne- and Mombasa-based spice recipe Tacony native Richard Sites purchased from former proprietor John Bonk when he took over the business. The messy critters are the biggest draw here, but not the only one — on a recent Friday, regulars crowded the bar, taking advantage of a $1 Bud/Bud Light Phillies special long before the tiny adjacent dining room began filling up.

Since Buds at any price don't make for much of a meal, I was disappointed to learn that Bonk's was actually out of blue crabs on my visit. Though they also serve both snow and Dungeness crab, Sites says the blues are so popular that he does run out occasionally. He suggests shell-crackers call to confirm availability.

Fortified with cheap macro lagers and petite jelly jars of water, we dug into our first alternative: wings, bathed in a softly lip-tingling sauce and fried to an appealing, firm-fleshed texture. They disappeared quick. A crock of crab bisque, heavy on the meat and so thick it clung to the spoon, swallowed saltines like a tar pit consuming unwary sabertooths. A bowl of sweet, tender, steamed littleneck clams in the house juice was piqued by the cayenne in the broth, and we slurped away sans utensils — though not by choice.

Of course, no one expects four-star service at a bar. What we do expect: forks, water refills and more beer, occasionally. Our server, though friendly, might have been overwhelmed by what she told us was her "first Friday night" on the frontline. We were reduced to appealing to the capable bartendress to cool our heated-up tongues.

There were some less successful eats. A dry sandwich of thin breaded chicken cutlets and provolone would've benefited from the addition of a sauce. Equally flavorless was a sauce-on-top pizza that recalled Ellio's. Though the food's not perfect, it’s important to remember that Bonk’s is first and foremost a bar that also serves grub, not some hip pub/restaurant hybrid stocked with craft beer and vegan desserts.

Bonk's was recently immortalized by expat writer Daniel Putkowski, whose second novel, Bonk's Bar (Hawser Press, $14), was just published this week. Putkowski paints his version of the place as the quintessential river ward tappie, a place to watch the boys swing for the fences while drowning the day in suds and Jameson. File it under "realistic fiction."

(felicia.dambrosio@citypaper.net)

Bonk's Bar & Grille | 3467 Richmond St., 215-634-9927. Open daily, 10 a.m.-2 a.m. | Appetizers, $3-$6.75; sandwiches, $5.50-$7; blue crabs, market price | Cash only