NEWS

The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

Published: Aug 5, 2009

- 5 Michael Nutter goes to the Northeast to plead with state officials to let Philly raise its sales tax and change its pension fund; otherwise, the city will resort to a doomsday budget. "In which case the whole city will look like the hellacious shitscape I wandered into this morning," he says.

0 A severe thunderstorm cancels the swimming portion of the Danskin Women's Triathlon, which was won by New York's Rebeccah Wassner. "I got gypped," says second-place finisher Sarah Anderson, who is a dolphin.

- 2 Lightning destroys the historic Garrett-Dunn House, a mansion in Mount Airy once owned by a tobacco farmer. God is telling us not to smoke! Or preserve historic houses. Or live in Mount Airy.

+ 2 PATCO reopens a station in Franklin Square that had not been used since 1979. "Looks like I need a new place to sleep," sighs Al Taubenberger.

+ 1 Police identify a man who fled into the Schuylkill River after being involved in a minor car crash. As a "total spaz."

+ 1 Philly hosts the 29th Conference on Jewish Genealogy, with talks such as "The Role of Philadelphia Jews in the Rise of Basketball." And, "Jewish Cocks: Why So Big?"

- 3 Fifteen post offices in Philadelphia are being considered for closure or consolidation. "I would like to buy some post offices," says Brian Tierney.

+ 6 A man who tries to rob a Center City bank is arrested after being locked between doors in the security system, known as the "mantrap." "Looks like I need a new hooker name," sighs Al Taubenberger.

0 An auction for the phone number 267-867-5309 reaches $5,500 on eBay. Dude, you are living in the past. EBay? Really?

+ 1 Officials with the State Employees' Retirement System take away Vince Fumo's $100,000 annual pension. Fumo grabs his last power tool and squeezes. "They can't take you, cordless belt sander. Not you, too."

ADVERTISEMENT

This week's total = 1 | Last week's total = 10

Comments

Your link to the Nutter/NE story takes you to the post office story instead.
by Cleanup Philly on August 9th 2009 12:41 PM

If the state bails Philly out with a sales tax hike, pension refi/payment delay, and state personal income tax hike for Philly schools only, Philly will have lost the push it needs to make critical reforms. It doesn't need to cut cops, trash, fire in a "doomsday" budget. It needs to cut the tertiary programs that are not duplicated at the state and federal level, cut some of the non-essential 23,000 city employees, and collect the $425 million in overdue property taxes at sheriff sale, and collect the $1 billion in forfeit bail owed the city by absconders. The city has to stop being nice for cheap votes, and start being grown ups. Let your state rep know that voters don't want a Philly bail out that prevents critically needed change: http://www.stoppataxhike.com/
by Cleanup Philly on August 9th 2009 1:13 PM

oops, I mean, cut programs that ARE duplicated at the state and federal level. Philly can't be a state-level/federal level social service provider from our own tax base. Those programs have to be cut, and not police/fire/trash in a fear tactic to preserve the Philly political machine.
by Cleanup Philly on August 9th 2009 1:15 PM



Also In This Week's News Section

All in the Games
by Sean Blanda
A group of young entrepreneurs wants to make Philly the Hollywood of video games.

Icepack
by A.D. Amorosi
Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

A Million Stories
Sports:
Top Tees
by E. James Beale
Our picks for the five best nonregistered Phillies tees.

 
 
ADVERTISEMENT