Sips in Space

Oyster House bartender Katie Loeb fixes us a fictional drink.

by Felicia D' Ambrosio

Michael Persico (CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION

Schlepping across the universe in a stolen spaceship after Earth has been demolished to make way for a hyperspatial expressway is thirsty work. That's why Douglas Adams' sci-fi classic The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy prescribes the ideal cocktail for the discerning interstellar vagabond: the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. The promised effect of just one? It's "like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick."

We asked Katie Loeb, head bartender at Oyster House (1516 Sansom St.,  215-567-7683, oysterhousephilly.com), to bring this fictional tipple to life with her vision of Zaphod Beeblebrox's invention. Italics denote instructions from Adams' text.

Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit. 8 oz. Bluecoat gin.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V. 3 oz. limoncello + 1.5 oz. Vieux Carre absinthe + 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice + 3 dashes orange bitters.

Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost). 1 pint of lemon water ice frozen solid (or 14 oz. container of lemon sorbet) + 3 ice cubes.

Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it (in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia). 1.5 oz. 7-Up.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones. 1 Tbsp. Creme de Menthe poured over the back of a spoon.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink. 1 Tbsp. Strawberry Pop-Rocks.

Sprinkle Zamphour. A pinch of Alderwood Smoked Sea Salt.

Add an olive. A sprig of spanked mint.

Drink ... but very carefully. Avoid the brain freeze!

To assemble: Add the gin, "seas of Santraginus V" mixture and frozen water ice to blender container. Purée until achieving the texture of a Slurpee. Pour into six tall glasses and add 7-Up, then crème de menthe. Stir gently. Top with Pop-Rocks and pinch of smoked sea salt. Garnish with mint sprig slapped between your palms to release oils.

(felicia.dambrosio@citypaper.net)