The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

+ 4 The Barnes collection will be housed in a "gracious, golden-hued temple," according to the Inquirer. "You know, the kind of temple that deliberately reinterprets the wishes of a dead man. Like the Catholic Church."

0 Former Phillie Darren Daulton announces his plan to auction off 100 items of memorabilia, including his 1997 World Series ring. Lenny Dykstra bids $1 million, spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his shirt pocket, then runs into a wall.

- 4 Two Flyers fans are stabbed in a post-game knife fight outside a Northeast Philly bowling alley. Five-minute major for fighting, plus a double minor for slashing and drawing blood and a game misconduct. Wounded dudes in the old Lindros jerseys, you guys are going on the Peeeeeco power play!

- 1 Valley Forge National Historical Park officials announce plans to kill 86 percent of their deer population over the next few years, rather than explore a proposed contraception option. "We already tried that," says park official. "But deer 'like to feel it' or whatever."

+ 2 Brat Productions installs 4,000 cockroaches in its Poe-themed haunted house in South Philly. By opening the front door.

+ 5 The Census American Community Survey says that, among big cities of the U.S., Philadelphia has the most bicycle commuters. We're also No. 1 in Office Chairs That Smell Like B.O.

+ 1 A slimmer Ed Rendell reveals his six tips for weight loss on Philly Mag's Web site. It's just a bunch of arrows to the ads down the right-hand side.

+ 1 A man brings a live 1970s tank shell into the 12th District police station to dispose of it; the building is evacuated until the bomb squad can take it away. "He was trying to surrender," says police captain. "It's sad, really. The poor bastard had no idea the great West Philly/Southwest Philly war had ended some time ago. He'd been huddled in a stairwell with the thing since 1988."

Total for the week: 8

Last week's total: 13