OPINION . Editor's Letter

Anonymously Yours

"The holiday used to be all about the children — you know, sacrificing them."


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Published: Oct 28, 2009

Here at CP, we've been dreaming about running a Rodney Anonymous cover story since, oh, forever. Anonymous, the guy behind our monthly column "Aid or Invade" and once again out in front of Philly punk legends The Dead Milkmen, is one of the funniest writers in town. As such, we'd been itching to set him loose on something longer; telling the inside story of the return to active duty of The Dead Milkmen as they prepare for their big Trocadero Halloween gig seemed like just the thing.

BH: So what's the big deal with you and Halloween?

RA: Christopher Hitchens hit the nail on the head when he said that Christmas reminds him of the way dictatorships like North Korea force their citizens to celebrate the Great Leader's birthday. But, with Halloween, if you want to dress up like a zombie and hand out candy, that's perfectly acceptable (try that any other time of year). Don't want to decorate your home or provide treats to the offspring of your neighbors? Then you have the right to spend the next day cleaning eggs and toilet paper off your house.

Also, unlike Christmas, Halloween is constantly evolving into something better. In just a few centuries it's gone from pagan festival to free candy day for the kids, to a night when adults can not only dress like pirates, but drink like them. Yet no one ever complains that Halloween has become too commercial, that the holiday "used to be all about the children — you know, sacrificing them."

BH: Why are the Milkmen back together, writing new material?

RA: What brought us back together is what brought us together in the first place — boredom. Playing shows sounded like an interesting and fun thing to do. As for the new songs, well, for me at least, those will be an attempt (possibly our last) to finally get it right. We're looking at the new songs as things to be crafted over time (like an oak chair, or a Phil Collins CD, or an oak Phil Collins CD) until they're acceptable to us. Then we'll accidentally erase them and have to start all over again.

BH: In the story you mention that you considered trying to get GANG or Pissed Jeans to take the stage as The Dead Milkmen for the encore. Let me officially state: That should happen.

RA: I wish I could make it happen, but it's too late to work it all out now. This is one of those great ideas that the other guys had that I failed to act on. The other band members are going beat the shit out of me when they read this.

Frock the Vote

Allow me to pass the mic to Jeffrey Billman for his rundown on Tuesday's elections, which didn't quite fit into the Naked City section.

"On Tuesday, Nov. 3, there's an election, and you should vote, because voting makes you a good person. Sure, we don't have any of those sexy gubernatorial elections, like in New Jersey. (Hey New Jerseyites: Chris Christie's a right-wing shit; don't vote for him.) Nor do we have any fun municipal elections. Oh sure, there's the district attorney's race, but everyone thinks Democrat Seth Williams has that one in the bag. There's also the city controller's race ... huh, what's that? Sorry, we dozed off for a second. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to have a wonk-geek of a policy analyst looking over the city's books — even if he is Republican Al Schmidt — considering how much red ink we've hemorrhaged of late. Then again, it's not like the city's financial calamities are Democrat Alan Butkovitz's fault. You'll also have some judicial elections you've paid little attention to, and probably know nothing about. Democracy at its finest. Happy guessing!"

(bhoward@citypaper.net)