Oh settle the hell down. We know lists like this are pointless little architecture-inspired breakdances not to be taken seriously. That said, we have a formula.

It's a data explosion!

by Brian Howard

"People need to know how they're doing," says Sampson.

by Bruce Schimmel

What You Say

Don't feel bad if you haven't heard of the mighty plastic bag lobby. Neither had city Councilmen Frank DiCicco and Jim Kenney when, in 2007, they sponsored bills to ban plastic bags and Styrofoam cups, two nonbiodegradable sources of street trash.

Ever see two dogs go for the same piece of meat?

by Isaiah Thompson

The today that Cliff was here for was awesome.

by E. James Beale

When news breaks in Philadelphia, we make jokes.

Why on Earth would we want to fund a sector that employs 1.3 million people and produces another 4.4 million ancillary jobs in the tourism and hospitality industry, a sector that is sine qua non to the economic-boosting dinner-and-a-show sphere?

John Vettese sees what develops

by John Vettese

IKE | A Farewell to Arms and Legs | "Days" and "Giorni" | Douglas Sirk

Cerulean Arts | Slought Foundation | Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts

Pedro Almodóvar's latest labyrinth winds through a spiral of cinematic memories, not to pay homage but to illustrate the primacy of film in the emotional lives of those who worship it.

At times, it feels like a montage in search of a movie to surround it. The film's underlying eroticism and overpowering sensuality floods out everything else, until all that's left is a dissipating mood.

Send repertory film listings to molly.eichel@citypaper.net.

Rodney Anonymous vs. The World

by Rodney Anonymous

Wed., Dec. 30, 9 p.m., $16, Johnny Brenda's, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

by A.D. Amorosi

Sat., Dec. 26, 10:30 p.m., $10, with Chris Kasper, Tin Angel, 20 S. Second St., 215-928-0978, tinangel.com.

by John Vettese

I watched the chefs inspect each pie with an intensity akin to clerics poring over religious tablets. Does the cornicione have the proper width (an inch to an inch and a half)? Does the puff of the crown rise from the surface? Are the topping levels and colors right?

Carpano Antica Formula is performing a trick its cheaper counterparts have not been able to accomplish in nearly a century: making vermouth cool again.

Skewers at Solo | Lancaster Farm Fresh CSA | SIGG Aluminum Boxes | Plastic Wishbones

Varga Bar | APO | fish | R2L | Marigold Kitchen

Zama | Philly Cupcake | Zavino | Bain's Deli | 7-Eleven

The creators of Jewtopia return with more Hebrew high jinks.

by Lauren F. Friedman

Mon., Dec. 28, 7:30 p.m., $20 (e-mail kitsie@phillycircus.com). to register), Philadelphia School of Circus Arts, 5900A Greene St., 215-849-1991, phillycircus.com.

by Josh Middleton

You know it's a silly world and the end of a douchebag decade when a D-list celebrity takes up head space and Trumps nearly all this holiday season.

Now that the holiday buying bonanza is over (and the return lines are just forming), it’s time to think about New Year’s Eve.

Thu., Dec. 24, 6 p.m., $62-$70; Fri., Dec. 25, noon, $45-$50; Joy Tsin Lau Restaurant, 1026 Race St., 215-545-4400, mooshujewshow.com.

by Lauren Seibert

Sat., Dec. 26, 8 and 10:30 p.m., $25-$30, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001, heliumcomedy.com.

by Scott Yorko

Sat., Dec. 26, 6-9 p.m., free, William Way Community Center, 1315 Spruce St., 215-732-2220, phillyblackpride.org.

by Josh Middleton

Every Sat., 9 a.m.-noon, free, registration required, meet at Greater Philadelphia Cares, 100 S. Broad St., Suite 2200, 215-564-4544, philacares.com.

by Julia West