5 & 34

McNabb's departure was both pre-ordained and eternally unlikely.

by Brian Howard

The long citywide nightmare is over. With the trade of Donovan McNabb to division rival Washington Racistnameds for a couple of draft picks, a whole decade of the Eagles being merely really good has come to a merciful end. After 11 seasons, nearly 5,000 passes, 82 wins and, of highest import, zero Super Bowl rings, the most dysfunctional relationship in Philadelphia — that between No. 5 and his coach, Andy Reid — has come to an end.

This is a moment that's seemed both pre-ordained and eternally unlikely, each disappointing season followed by assertions that the quarterback Reid hitched his hopes to back in 1999 would remain so. No more. No more! As our sporting fool award-winning sports journalist E. James Beale wrote on Jan. 14, Reid and McNabb, while awesome individually, together produce an effect pharmacologists call "synergism" — when two drugs' negative effects "exacerbate the problems associated with the other. Here two plus two can equal five — or 500."

Beale had already filed this week's column when the "Easter surprise" broke — on the eve of No. 34 Roy Halladay's pinstriped debut. So we caught up with Beale for his take on the biggest 24 sports hours since Brad Lidge threw strike three.

"They'd come to the point, with all the talk, where it was going to be really hard for [McNabb] to come in and be the starting quarterback," figures Beale. "But they got good value [for him]."

As to the idea that it was folly trading McNabb to a team the Eagles will face twice a year, Beale is pointed: "I've watched him in enough big games to say I'm not afraid of him in big games. I wish him the best for 14 games a season."

It reminds me of one of our favorite jokes from the Bell Curve, one that neatly sums up McNabb's tenure. Originally published Nov. 17, 2005: "Eagles suffer last-minute loss to the Cowboys on Monday Night Football. Oregon Diner adds the McNabb Special to its menu: Two minutes before you're ready to leave, they hand you a turnover. Minus 4."

Donovan, go gentle into that good swamp. And Washington, have you tried the McNabb special? It's to die for.

As to the kinetic sports news of this week — actual people on an actual field — Roy Halladay (the subject of Beale's July 2009 column "Get Roy or Die Trying") made his first start as the Phillies ace with an exclamation point, dominating the Washington Nationals behind an 11-run drubbing by the offense.

Beale has his concerns.

"The back end of their bullpen's a problem. They're an old team. I know they say their bench improved, but if Ryan Howard goes down for an extended period, are they still a good team?"

Then he admits he's stretching: "Halladay's gonna win 20. He's awesome. My fears for the Phillies come with the knowledge that they're awesome. This team's armor has some chinks, but if all the teams got shuffled up and we ended up with this one, we'd be like, 'Oh, fantastic.'"

(bhoward@citypaper.net)