The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

0 "We feel very much victimized," says Foxwoods lawyer Stephen Cozen about Steve Wynn's decision not to build a casino in Philly. And the whole city cries. A hat is passed around, so that a monument may be built with an eternal flame lit and a prayer said that this never happen again, a corporate lawyer having his time kinda wasted, even though he still gets to bill for it.

+ 1 A pastor, a reverend and a rabbi bless the baseballs used in the Phillies' home opener. Soccer balls used in the Union opener blessed by a bartender, a horse and a 12-inch pianist.

- 1 A film crew for Dark Fields transforms 19th and Market to look like a New York City intersection. By shitting on the curb.

+ 3 The Pennsylvania SPCA throws a dog "garage" sale in North Philly. Afterward, all overstock is left in the "garage" with the "car running."

+ 1 A University of Pennsylvania dental school alum leaves $17.3 million to the school. It is a giant sack of gold teeth, and it is gross.

+ 6 Using DNA evidence, detectives solve four decades-old "cold cases." Those heavy-handed flashbacks set to songs popular at the time of the crimes helped, too.

0 The Franklin Institute announces that Bill Gates has won the 2010 Bower Award for Business Leadership. Presenting it will be the previous two winners: a skinned and plastinated peasant striking a humiliating pose, and Boba Fett.

+ 2 Bicycling.com votes Philly No. 27 in America's top 50 bike-friendly cities. Everyone knows it's best to stay with the peloton until the very end.

+ 8 Two Daily News reporters win a Pulitzer for their "Tainted Justice" series. More importantly: Since those stories first ran, there has been real reform in the world of judge grundles.

This week's total: 22

Last week's total: 7