All-Male Review

Who wins when Shmitten Kitten goes looking for Philly's studliest man? We do.

by Julia West

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Published: May 25, 2010

Neal Santos CAT SCRATCH FEVER: Shmitten Kitten proprietor Anna Goldfarb (center) surrounds herself with the beefiest of cakes in preparation for her Mister America hosting duties.

[ hot dudes ]

Anna Goldfarb isn't hosting a Mr. America beauty pageant as some kind of radical feminist statement. She's doing it because she loves Philly dudes. Goldfarb's irreverent dating blog, Shmitten Kitten (shmittenkitten.com), is her way of supporting the good guys and berating the dating world's failures. With the pageant, her words are made flesh, local studs are beckoned to parade around Johnny Brenda's stage and maybe get named the coolest dude on the block.

These contestants aren't just playing for individual glory (though the prizes are pretty sweet; see below); they're reppin' their 'hoods, from South Philly to the Great Northeast. "I gotta find the party animal from each neighborhood," says Goldfarb, who coerced her buddies to participate as contestants — including man-about-town/Barbary karaoke host Eddie Austin and a cat photographer. Yeah, a cat photographer. Swoon!

Each beefcake is given three chances to please. In the first round, the boys share their first-date duds and where they would take one lucky lady out on the town, giving a glimpse into who's in it to win it and who will be couch-surfing next Friday. Round 2 looks to be the most titillating: the talent competition. "The guy's talent could be playing harmonica, making a PowerPoint, doing 'Y.M.C.A.' perfectly," suggests Goldfarb. "Or it could be some karaoke power love." The final round will be the Q&A session, with open-ended situational questions that will mostly be dating-related.

The fates of all contestants will be at the feet of a panel of lady judges (judgettes?) including blogger Suzy Beerlass and Metro A&E editor (and former City Paper listings queen) Monica Weymouth.

And the top prize ain't nothing to sneeze at: a chance to judge the Cheerleaders amateur pole-dancing competition on Varsity Night. Not enough? The reigning super-stud will also receive not one, but five cases of Sly Fox beer. "This is my vision: I want to make one guy's life totally rule for up to one week," says Goldfarb.

Three quickie rounds and a dashing young Mister America will be crowned. While Philly's hottest will go home with beer and the promise of amateur boobs, Goldfarb is looking to make this a good time for everyone, whether they're attracted to the male of the species or not. "It's really just a big party with a little bit of pageant thrown in," she says.

A pageant where the lovely men of Philadelphia flaunt their stuff?

You're welcome, ladies.

(julia.west@citypaper.net)

Shmitten Kitten's Mister America Pageant | Thu., May 27, 8 p.m., $5, Johnny Brenda's, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 877-435-9849, johnnybrendas.com

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