June

The King of Trash, the Pope of Pop Culture, the Ultimate Camp Queen: Director John Waters is all these things. See him discuss Role Models, an essay collection about the people who inspired him. It's fitting, considering he'd totally be on our list. 7:30 p.m., $14, Free Library, Central Branch, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org. —ME

Six years ago today, Ken Jennings began his 74-game winning streak on Jeopardy! While the college kids are away, take over the New Deck Tavern and go own a round of Quizzo in his honor. 10 p.m., free, 3408 Sansom St., 215-386-4600, newdecktavern.com. —ME

Make a mix tape for a loved one. (Mix CDs and iPod playlists are cheating.) Then buy him a Walkman so he can actually listen to it. —ME

Philly's third annual Beer Week is bigger and sudsier than ever in 2010: From June 4 to 13, close to 200 participating breweries will descend on our city. Nearly 900 individual events are on the books, from educational panels and homebrew competitions to massive Belgian beer tasting festivals (Zythos America) and elaborate beer dinners. Tonight kicks off with the ceremonial Opening Tap. You can drink water every other week of the year — take advantage. 7:30 p.m., $25-$40, Independence Visitors Center, Sixth and Market streets, phillybeerweek.org. —DL

This should be the biggest Roots Picnic ever: Method Man, Ghostface, Raekwon, John Legend, Vampire Weekend, Jazzy Jeff, Foreign Exchange and on and on and you don't stop. 2 p.m., $66, Festival Pier, Penn's Landing, 201 S. Columbus Blvd., okayplayer.com. —PR

The citywide peloton punisher currently known as the TD Bank Philadelphia International Cycling Championship is the longest-running single-day/all-pro bike race in the U.S. Put some sangria in a thermos, grab a spot at the top of the Manayunk Wall and drink every time somebody in nut-hugger shorts has an existential crisis. 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m., free, procyclingtour.com. —PR

Beef up on your bowling: Grab three friends and join a league, like Blue Monday nights at North Bowl. Remember, guys: Ladies love a man who can handle his balls. Every Mon. through Aug. 9, 9:30 p.m., North Bowl, 909 N. Second St., 215-238-BOWL, northbowlphilly.com. —ME

Tanya Hamilton hit this year's Sundance Film Festival with Night Catches Us, her movie about an ex-Black Panther (Anthony Mackie) who returns to Philly after a decade in exile during the racially tense '70s. She'll talk about her movie with the Greater Philadelphia Film Office's Yvonne Jones. 6-8:30 p.m., free (reservations required), Prince Music Theater, 1412 Chestnut St., film.org. —ME

Finally, an enlightening park experience that won't cost you a night in the slammer. At Art in the Open, ogle the work of 36 artists in various media as they create in open view, or tap into your inner Picasso at one of the public art stations established along the path. Through Sat., June 12, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., free, Bartram's Garden and along the Schuylkill Banks between the Schuylkill River Park and Fairmount Water Works, artintheopenphila.org. —JM

Legend has it that when Billy Penn docked here in 1682, the first thing he did was book it to Blue Anchor Tavern for a pint of beer. Accrue additional snobby beer facts at the Historical Society's lecture on Philly's early pubs. Drinks included. 6 p.m., $10-$20, Historical Society of Pennsylvania, 1300 Locust St., 215-732-6200, hsp.org. —HO

Party like you're undead (cuz that's how the humidity makes us feel) at DJ Robert Drake and Dave Ghoul's second annual Zombie Beach Party , featuring The Slotcars, zombie makeup stations, free zombie beach photos and, of course, prizes for best beach zombies. 8 p.m., $7-$10, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com. —BH

Always throw paper when you should've gone rock? Let the pros show you how it's done at this year's Pabst Blue Ribbon Philadelphia Rock Paper Scissors City League Championship Invitational — and by "pros," we mean PBR-drunk hipsters suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome. 7 p.m., $20 to watch, Connie's Ric Rac, 1132 S. Ninth St., rpscityleague.com. —CH

Wizard World (starting June 11) ain't just a comic con. There's all kinds of Magic gatherings and Pokemon tournaments and D&D support groups. The befuddling guest list includes O.G. Captain Kirk, O.G. Sarah Conner, Lt. Data, Winston Zeddemore, Peter Brady and more. $25, Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch St., wizardworld.com. —PR

Find an excellent people-watching spot with a friend and play Your Team, My Team: Arbitrarily claim people for your meaningless team, and don't be afraid to argue if you both want the same stranger. Word to the wise: Stay away from gingers. —ME

Going on seven years, the South Side Film Festival's been stocking a schedule bursting with indie and international films. South side of what? Bethlehem. Yeah, but it's worth it. For 2010, Jeff Vaclavik's labor of love focuses on Far East cinema and horror films, and the festivities open with a screening of the slasher satire Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. Through June 19, $5-$50, Home and Planet, 25 E. Third St., Bethlehem, southsidefilmfestival. —BH

They're billing this as a kids' show. Good luck with that. Only the stoned-out-of-their-gourd will head over to the Mann to hear Regis and Joy Philbin narrate Peter and the Wolf, backed by The Philadelphia Orchestra. 8 p.m., $10-$60, Mann Center, 5201 Parkside Ave., 215-893-1999, manncenter.org. —PR

What better way to raise money for a dance troupe than to show some skin? The benefit cabaret for Nichole Canuso Dance Co. also includes tarot card readings, carnie games and a photo booth (!). 6:30 p.m.-2 a.m., $13-$60, Triumph Brewing Co., 117 Chestnut St., 215-625-0855, nicholecanusodance.org. —HO

Gather up your childhood buddies for the première of Toy Story 3, 15 years after the original took us to infinity and beyond. Celebrate 1995-style with belly shirts, Beanie Babies and "Rachel" hair; avoid run-ins with Evil Emperor Zurg. —AH

Ignore the chant, "We're going to get you. We're going to get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep," and stay up late to scream at Sam Raimi's uncut horror classic The Evil Dead. But beware of that swamp! 11:59 p.m., Ritz East, 125 S. Second St., 215-925-7900, landmarktheatres.com. —GMK

A weekend of jazz, food and culture awaits you at the seventh annual West Oak Lane Jazz & Arts Festival (starting Fri., June 18). The two stages include both seasoned vets and newcomers. While music fills your ears, fill your tummy with traditionally cooked seafood and barbecue. 9 a.m.-7:15 p.m., free, 7100-7400 Ogontz Ave., westoaklanefestival.com. —MB

Send a chain letter, snail mail style, to all of your friends, but don't tell them it's from you. Send it to strangers while you're at it, too. Tell them misfortune will befall them if they don't send the letter along, and see what comes back to you. —ME

Mothers, hide your sons. Courtney Love and her Hole are in town touring behind a new album, Nobody's Daughter, the title of which just goes to prove my long-held theory that Ms. Love was belched fully formed from the pits of hellfire. 8:30 p.m., $35-$38, with Foxy Shazam, Electric Factory, 421 N. Seventh St., 610-784-5400, electricfactory.info. —BH

Whenever Wednesday at the Institute of Contemporary Art feels more like a celebration than a gathering of hoity-toity art snobs. Tonight's event features a salon/disco/cabaret/screening curated by Brooklyn is Burning's Sarvia Jasso. 6:30 p.m., free, 118 S. 36th St., 215-898-7108, icaphila.org . —ME

Don't even try to tell me you don't want to yell "I'm a golden god!" from a rooftop, and then cannonball into a pool while your teenage fans stare up in awe. Celebrate '70s rock debauchery and wide-eyed idealism in Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous. 7 p.m., free, Piazza at Schmidts, 1050 N. Hancock St., atthepiazza.com. —ME

Be led through Asian-influenced dancing and call-and-response chanting called Kirtan during Kun-Yang Lin/Dancers' presentation of Singing in Tongues. The following guided meditation will allow you to open yourselves up to the limitless possibilities of summer: Om. 7-9 p.m., $10-$20, Kun-Yang Lin Dance Studio, 1316 S. Ninth St., 267-687-3739, kunyanglin.org. —EC

Get out those white socks, black shiny shoes, red zipper jacket and studded gloves and get on the floor at Tastytreats as they pay tribute to Michael Jackson on the first anniversary of his death. Blame it on the boogie! 10 p.m., $7 (ladies free until 11 p.m.), with DJ Ultraviolet and DJ Lil' Dave, Fluid Nightclub, 613 S. Fourth St., 215-629-3686, fluidnightclub.com. —DD

Since the '60s there's been no stoppin' Kenny Gamble. Host Laiya St. Clair sits down with the producer, songwriter and housing developer to unearth the soulful sound of Philadelphia that contributed to his recent Lifetime Achievement Grammy. 6:30 p.m., free (reservations at itsthelifeshow@gmail.com), Warmdaddys, 1400 S. Columbus Blvd., 215-462-2000, warmdaddys.com. —DD

R.I.P. to Billy Mays, who died one year ago today. Buy something stupid from TV (OxyClean?) to honor his memory. —ME

Pretend to be a member of the Factory and see Andy Warhol's Polaroids and black-and-white prints featuring intimate shots of celebs from Pia Zadora to Arnold Schwarzenegger to Martha Graham. Through Sept. 12, $8-$10, Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, Samuel M.V. Hamilton Building, 128 N. Broad St., 215-972-7600, pafa.org. —ME

OMGZ! Twilight: Eclipse hits theaters today! Will Kristen Stewart bite her lip and look sad? What portion of the movie will Taylor Lautner be shirtless? Screw it, we can't even feign excitement. —ME