Do the Vulture!

"The park could do better."

by Isaiah Thompson

I WAS STRETCHING the hamstrings on Kelly Drive this holiday weekend, when mine eyes beheld a wondrous sight: men and women dancing — on skates — like I'd never seen. It is amazing, and they do it every Sunday at Lloyd Hall.

But as I gazed this late afternoon, I noticed another performance: A small boy was trying to get a drink at the public fountain, but couldn't reach it. There is a cement block by the fountain, presumably for this reason — but it's located on the wrong side. To drink, the kid had to lean his entire torso over the back of the fountain, curl in his head and sip at the water from upside down.

I call this the Vulture, and kids perform it all the time at that spot. Thing is, there's a kid-size fountain right next to it that's been broken since last summer.

A woman came by, a troupe of little girls in tow, doing a very distinctive dance herself: the I-Have-to-Pee. She pulled on the Lloyd Hall bathroom door, only to find it locked — although this was well before sundown, on a holiday weekend.

A shadow crossed her face: Besides the only water fountain, Lloyd Hall hosts the only public bathroom for miles.

There was nary a port-o-let in sight.

"The park could do better," observed bystander Martin Emery, who'd watched the scene with pity. "The people are here, but there could be more here for them."

Indeed: Kelly Drive is supposed to be the crown jewel of our park system. It sees nearly 30,000 visitors a week — but can be surprisingly bereft of the barest essentials, especially for families.

A survey by the Bicycle Coalition found water and bathrooms rated first and second among most-wanted amenities, respectively.

Fairmount Park Executive Director Mark Focht says that parts are "on order" for the broken fountain — but he can't say when it will be fixed.

He points out, as well, that the bathrooms were open until 5 p.m. that day, as on all summer weekends.

But that's long before sunset, and it leaves a lot of park users potty-less.

Yes, Fairmount Park's budget is woefully small. And much to its credit, the park is adding a couple fountains and another bathroom.

But these things are good only if they're working and accessible. Right now, the Vulture and the I-Have-To-Pee are all-too-common sights.