How do you still shock people, when 9/11 and the Holocaust, rape and murder, have become clichéd joke fodder? When John Waters has conceded that he's too tame for today's 9-year-old? When a thing like the Internet exists? You throw a bestiality-themed party.

With Ortlieb's and Zanzibar Blue gone, Chris' is the only full-time jazz joint left in Philly, but the owners don't see themselves as somehow victorious.

But unlike the old days of late-night meetings on subway platforms to hand off 8-track tapes, they now e-mail MP3s as ideas develop. "Not seeing each other hasn't really slowed things down at all," Leithauser says. "Maybe it has sort of streamlined the process."

Philadelphia theater: stronger than ever? Despite the recession, major companies and smaller ones are heading into the fall season with full force, and two new troupes are debuting ambitious productions.

There are almost 16,000 pieces of art in the Army's collection, most never seen publicly. It's a treasure trove by any yardstick, but especially for the National Constitution Center, which normally deals with hoary busts and yellowing documents to showcase the creation and maintenance of American democracy.

Pavement | No Age | Superchunk/Jenny & Johnny | Titus Andronicus/Free Energy | Vaselines | The XX | Hold Steady | Built to Spill | Scout Niblett | Gorillaz | Thermals | Ghostface Killah | Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan | Corin Tucker | Jedi Mind Tricks | Guided By Voices

Manayunk Roxborough Art Center | Fleisher/Ollman Gallery | Proximity Gallery | Philadelphia Open Studio Tours | Mount Airy Contemporary Artists Space/Allens Lane Art Center

Marc Ribot | Philly/New York All-Star Band | Amir ElSaffar's Two Rivers | Ari Hoenig Trio | Bobby Hutcherson and Cedar Walton | Cindy Blackman | Andy Laster's Sounds of Cairo | Dave Brubeck | Dave Liebman Orchestra | Curtis Fuller | PanaMonk Revisited | Ches Smith & These Arches | Greg Osby and 9 Levels | Joey DeFrancesco | Dave Holland Big Band | Mario Pavone's Orange Double Tenor | Tomas Fujiwara/Ideal Bread

Cedric Watson & Bijou Creole | Sing Out! Sing In | Tim O'Brien & Bryan Sutton | Duo Jalal | Galeet Dardashti | Brian McNeil | Buika | Sarah McQuaid | Battlefield Band | Elaine Hoffman & Susan Lankin Watts | Blinds Boys of Alabama

Verdi's Otello | Tempesta di Mare | Takacs String Quartet with Jeffrey Kahane | 1807 And Friends with Cynthia Raim | Dolce Souno | Philadelphia Orchestra | Dresden Staatskapelle | Academy of Vocal Arts | Network for New Music | Curtis Chamber | Simone Dinnerstein

Of Kings and Fools | Paul Taylor Dance Co. | Pennsylvania Ballet | Sharp Dance Co. | FLY: Five First Ladies of Dance | Koresh Dance Co. | Forever Tango | Ballet X | Parsons Dance Co. | Dance Theater X | The nutcracker, Xmas Philes, Philly-Nutt-Crak-Up | Mummenschanz

The summer of our discontent is over.

by Brian Howard

What You Say

It gives us no satisfaction to say so, but it seems Philadelphia has a serious case of the stupids.

The block's beef with City Hall comes amid a spate of highly publicized episodes of long-standing traditions conflicting with long-standing, yet long-unenforced city codes.

Who's watching the anti-gas drilling watchmen?

by Isaiah Thompson

I am exactly that cynical.

by Jeffrey C. Billman

When news breaks, we make jokes.

What if the prisoners' complaints are real, and no one believes them? That possibility makes the situation at the State Correctional Institution at Dallas intriguing.

Where there's smoke, there's fire — unless you're at Apollinare, in which case, where there's smoke there's vanilla gelato coaxed into a solid state by liquid nitrogen and elbow grease.

Philadelphia's chefs are a bunch of tweeting fools.

Burgundy Dinners at Bistrot La Minette | Standard Tap Sausage Fest | Endless Tacos and Enchiladas at Distrito | Urban Farm Bike Tour | Oktoberfest at the German Society of Pennsylvania

The Lola Bean | Flying Monkey | The Sofitel | Manakeesh | Philly Cupcake | Maru Global Takoyaki | Stephen Starr's British pub

Ambitious singer-songwriter Andrew Lipke summons The Plague.

by John Vettese

Sun., Sept. 19, noon-4 p.m., $12, Independence Seaport Museum, 211 S. Columbus Blvd., 215-413-8655, phillyseaport.org.

by Eric Schuman

Gay Day at Six Flags | Gayborhood Games

Wed., Sept. 22, 7:30 p.m., free, Free Library, Central Branch, 1901 Vine St., 215-567-4341, freelibrary.org.

by Josh Middleton

If you've loved Birdie Busch, you've witnessed her transformation from gossamer folkie princess to rootin' tootin' rodeo queen with a sweet country lilt.

Through Nov. 21, free, Gershman Y, 401 S. Broad St., 215-545-4400, gershmany.org.

by Josh Middleton