A Million Stories

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by Jeffrey C. Billman and Juliana Reyes

Thomas Pitilli

If you haven't yet heard of Christine O'Donnell, well, first, you should really leave your cave once in a while. Second, spend a few minutes with the Google, which will direct you to a veritable treasure trove of crazy from the newly crowned Republican nominee for U.S. Senate from Delaware. See, O'Donnell's beauty doesn't just lie in the typical fundamentalist nonsense she spouts — the Earth is 6,000 years old, gays can pray away their " identity disorder," etc. — or even in the fact that she is basically Sarah Palin's Mini-Me. Nor is it just her anti-masturbation campaign in the 1990s, her claim that co-ed dorms lead to "orgy rooms" (clearly, we went to the wrong college), her assertion that condoms don't do anything to prevent AIDS or her intimations that Bill Clinton killed Vince Foster, Joe Biden tapped her phone line and her political opponents are stalking her and "hiding in the bushes." It's not even her statement on Politically Incorrect years ago that she dabbled in witchcraft and had a "midnight picnic" "on a satanic altar," although that's pretty awesomely ridiculous for an ostensibly serious politician, or her bizarre claim that scientists have cloned mice with human brains, or her belief that Middle East censorship of sinful behavior is a good thing. And we'll even let slide, for the moment, the more serious problems: for instance, that O'Donnell, in apparent violation of Federal Elections Commissions rules, served as the treasurer of her own campaign and spent campaign funds on what appear to be personal expenses (including her rent).

No, the real beauty here is that, despite the plain reality that this woman is certifiably nuts and demonstrably unqualified, the GOP faithful and party leaders are lining up behind her anyway. And if nothing else, that shows how insane our political system has become.

Good news: Delaware isn't Mississippi, and O'Donnell's going to lose. Bad news: Palin, U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) and the right-wing vanguard are touting her victory last week over moderate U.S. Rep Mike Castle as another triumph for the Tea Party.

Which got us wondering: How totally stoked about O'Donnell is Pat Toomey, the GOP's Senate candidate in Pennsylvania? After all, in many ways, Toomey was an original tea-bagger. Club for Growth, the right-wing group he helmed from 2005 to 2009, was established to do just what O'Donnell did — go after Republicans deemed not conservative enough. And Toomey — who, during his six years in the House of Representatives, had a voting record that makes Rick Santorum look like Michael Moore — has embraced all manner of fringe politicians: He called DeMint, an extremist by any measure, "exactly the kind of leader the GOP could use" and recommended him for the GOP's vice-presidential nomination last year (along with billionaire flat-tax enthusiast Steve Forbes and former Texas Sen. Phil Gramm, who famously labeled us a "nation of whiners"). He also referred to Palin as " a principled reformer."

So, considering how much Toomey loves DeMint and Palin, and how much DeMint and Palin love O'Donnell, we naturally assumed that Toomey would jump at the chance to offer a full-throated endorsement of the new Tea Party Queen (which, of course, we would then use to bludgeon him).

No dice: "Pat has not made any official endorsements of any candidates right now," says communications director Nachama Soloveichik.

So, let's take a different tack: Why won't Pat Toomey support American Hero Christine O'Donnell?

The public demands answers, Pat.

(We love troublemaking.)

Other Things Christine O'Donnell Hates

Speaking of troublemaking, have you been following the row between the organizers of the second-annual Philly Naked Bike Ride (PNBR) and the producers of something called Wild About Philly (WAP)? As we first reported on The Clog, PNBR honcho Clifford Greer dispatched an e-mail to his list Sept. 13 complaining about WAP's allegedly malicious activities during the Sept. 5 ride, and threatening legal action: "During assembly at Lemon Hill, a video production company called WAPtv shot footage of a number of riders. As far as we know, no one was filmed without permission. WAPtv has produced and is selling a DVD of their footage. We have seen this DVD and we feel that its content is not in the spirit of our event, and that the riders filmed were not informed that this video would be for sale publicly. We have sought out volunteer legal assistance in order to halt the sale of this video."

Of course, there's a question about whether, even if everything Greer claims is true, any laws were broken. The naked bikers had, after all, gone out in public in the buff, and in doing so, probably abrogated their rights to control how their images are used, whether such usage is "in the spirit of our event" or not. But putting that aside — Greer says in an e-mail that there is no lawsuit in the works — this whole ordeal makes Wild About Philly look pretty sleazy. A jaunt over to their website (waptvshow.com; the show airs on WYBE Channel 35 Sundays at midnight and on Comcast Channel 80 and Comcast On Demand) isn't confidence-inspiring: It features links to things like "Philly's Model Showcase," with a picture of a blonde arching her back on a bed, clothed only in bra and panties (models have to pay $10 for the privilege of being filmed), and a DVD called Wild About Philly Uncut Vol. 2, which promises to show you stuff they can't show on television, wink.

Still, Wild About Philly insists everything is on the level. This weekend, video editor Reg Williams e-mailed us a defense, along with a link to a YouTube clip, which he said previewed the allegedly offensive DVD. The clip shows a bunch of giddy, naked hipsters being interviewed, fully aware that they're on camera. "To set the record straight, we are not selling the DVD commercially. The DVD is only meant for the bikers," Williams wrote. "When they were filmed, many of them asked if they could get a copy of it, so they were given a card so they could order a copy. It would cost a great deal to send everyone a free copy; that is why we ask for a donation to cover the cost. ... The DVD is not pornographic."

The show, says Williams in an interview, has been around for 15 years, and exists "to let everyone know there is a good entertainment life" in Philadelphia. He stresses that his crew gave out business cards to and asked permission of everyone they filmed; the DVD, he says, was intended only for the naked bikers. (As of this writing, that DVD is still listed on WAP's merchandise page with a $15 price tag, though the site now says, "DVD is not for sale. If you wish to have a copy of [sic] yourself contact us at: contact@waptvshow.com.")

"It sounds like they were slandering our name, that's what it sounds like," Williams says of Greer's e-mail. "I don't know what [Greer] was seeing or what he was judging. That's not right how he's coming at us."

"They sell videos called Dirty Down South Biker Babes," Greer responds. (Technically, it's Dirty South Biker Beauties.) "These videos cost the same as the videos of the bike ride. ... There's just no way it's about the bike ride. It's eroticized nudity. ... WAP exploits naked people. There's no way they can say otherwise."

This week's report by Jeffrey C. Billman and Juliana Reyes. E-mail us at amillionstories@citypaper.net.