The Bell Curve

City Paper's Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[+1] A crowd boos Mayor Nutter at President Obama's Germantown rally as he shouts "Yes We Can!" "You didn't let me finish," says Nutter. "I was going to say 'Yes we can — see a guy's junk if we look right over there!'"

[+1] Mayor Nutter takes a walk through Cobbs Creek Park to promote the city's green spaces. "Booooo," say the trees. "Boooo."

[-1] St. Mark's Church, whose congregation numbers dropped from 1,000 a century ago to 20 today, closes its doors. Entombing those final 20 parishioners forever.

[+2] Mayor Nutter joins President Obama in Washington to discuss infrastructure needs. "Booooo," says Obama. "Boooo."

[0] "We've recently had a pretty bad run of publicity. We've had a few bad officers, and they forgot about the oath they took," Police Commissioner Charles Ramsey told freshly sworn-in officers. "Especially that part in the oath about, you know, not beating the shit out of people on the ground, and not stealing drugs from drug dealers, and not robbing bars. ... You know, it occurs to me that maybe we need to make that oath a bit more specific."

[0] Sen. Arlen Specter campaigns for Senate candidate Joe Sestak, who defeated him in this year's primary. Then somebody dresses him like a cow and he hands out Chick-fil-A coupons.

[-7] A Northwestern University report shows that Philly's pension plan is the worst compared to 77 other big cities, and will be bankrupt by 2015. Whatever, we'll probably all be living in outer space by then.

[-1] Though state legislators fail to negotiate a natural gas tax, Gov. Ed Rendell calls their recent meeting a "terrific discussion" that made "significant progress." Adding that you're all "fucked" when this "Tom Corbett freak" takes control and "drills anything that moves."

[+2] Mayor Nutter officially eliminates the Clerk of Quarter Sessions. "And so my power grows," says Anna Verna, Queen of Beer Pong.

This week's total: -3 | Last week's total: 3