Mormon-y, More Problems?

Elna Baker searches for the sweet spot among love, sex and religion.

by Josh Middleton

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Published: Nov 10, 2010

On the surface, 28-year-old New York-based storyteller Elna Baker has a more interesting life than most of us. She's zigzagged the globe, published a top-selling memoir and turned up regularly on This American Life and The Moth. On top of that, she's blonde and pretty and really funny. But what makes her any different than scores of young American authors? She doesn't touch caffeine or alcohol. Oh, and she's a virgin.

Baker was raised in a strict Mormon household in Tacoma, Wash., where saying "no" to most of life's pleasures was a matter of routine, and the chance to spend eternity in the Celestial Kingdom with God and Jesus was the only thing worth living for. But there was always a voice inside little Elna that wondered, "Does life really have to be all about restraint?"

After high school, she moved to New York City to study theater at Tisch School of the Arts, holding tight to her religious beliefs while also making a conscious effort to say "yes" to most of the questions life threw her way. Suddenly doorways began to swing open. She started making friends from every walk of life, and met non-Mormon men whom she really, really wanted to have sex with.

The clumsy battles between morality and natural urges is the stuff Baker's stories are made of, and she's not afraid to bare every embarrassing, cringe-worthy detail. Take, for instance, an account from her 2009 memoir The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance, when she snuck off into the woods with a cute boy, only to fall and crack her head open. The poor guy had to drive her home with a maxi pad stuck to her forehead. Talk about awkward silence.

Ironically, it's a lack of inhibition at the writing desk that Baker credits as the secret to her success as a raconteur. "There's been times when I'll say, 'I'll never write that, I'll never put that on stage,' but then I start writing it and it's so funny I can't throw it out," she says. "I certainly don't paint myself that well that often, but it's more truthful that way, and it's funny."

For the First Person Arts Festival, Baker says she'll be wearing several hats. Besides performing a selection of popular stories from her book and radio appearances, she was scheduled to host last night's Grand Slam and will be leading a workshop on effective storytelling. It's all about knowing where a story begins and ends, she says, and being able to tie in a nice life lesson. If anyone knows how it's done, it's Baker. She may be a nearly-30-year-old virgin, but she gives good story.

(joshua.middleton@citypaper.net)

The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance, Thu., Nov. 11, 9:30 p.m.; Fri., Nov. 12, 6:30 p.m.; $15; The Philadelphia Nondenominational Anyone Can Tell A Story Workshop, Sat., Nov. 13, 1 p.m., $35, Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St., 267-402-2055, firstpersonarts.org.

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