Plans with Benefits

New Year's Eve ideas to keep you on top of your game all 2011 long.

by Josh Middleton

[ celebrations ]

There's an old wives' tale that says what you're doing at midnight on New Year's Eve will reflect your entire year to come. And whether or not you're a believer, let's not take our chances: To jump-start an ideal 2011, we've organized a stroke-of-midnight to-do list around common and not-so-normal New Year's resolutions, so you can pick your poison. But choose wisely — those old bitches don't mess around.

Be a Good Parent

Now that you have little tots to care for, you might as well prep them for the big time (without staying up past their bedtime). For the Please Touch Museum's Countdown to Noon, Hamilton Hall is transformed into a mini Times Square to host a boisterous countdown, complete with musical performances, streamers and confetti, and a big glittery ball that descends from the ceiling at noon and then again at 1 p.m. But instead of freezing your ass off next to drunken revelers and pushy security guards, you'll have a little nugget at your side in awe of how cool mommy or daddy is for taking them there. Noon and 1 p.m., Fri., Dec. 31, $15, Please Touch Museum, Memorial Hall, Fairmount Park, 4231 Avenue of the Republic, 215-581-3181, pleasetouchmuseum.org.

Be More Cheerful

It's hard not to crack a smile when two improv groups are vying to see who can make you laugh the hardest. For New Year's Improvin' Eve, ComedySportz Philadelphia presents two battling comedy teams, a governing referee and lots of audience participation — with a soda or sparkling-cider toast to celebrate the new year at the end of each show. (For the earlier performance, they'll celebrate as the clock strikes 12 ... in Brazil.) And to keep the yuk-yuks rolling, they'll lower a rubber chicken from the ceiling when the countdown begins, then lead the crowd in a gibberish version of "Auld Lang Syne." 7:30 and 10:30 p.m., $30, Playground at the Adrienne, 2030 Sansom St., 877-985-2844, comedysportzphilly.com.

Become the Next American Idol

If breaking into the music biz is what you're after in 2011, this is your chance to don some glitzed-out duds and show off your vocal prowess. Guests at Yakitori Boy's Rock Star New Year's party are encouraged to come dressed as their favorite musician or celebrity, and take on tunes from the ample karaoke songbook provided by DJ Justin. If you start the night a little rusty, don't fret: A three-hour open bar will give you all the liquid courage you need to let your inner songbird soar. 8:45 p.m., $65 (must purchase tickets before Dec. 28), Yakitori Boy, 211 N. 11th St., 215-821-7280, yakitoriboy-japas.com.

Don't Feel Queer in the Nude

Listen up, this is a party that can't be Googled, and it'll take a little creative wordsmithing to get inside. To weed out the crazies, Nude Year's Eve organizer Robin Renée (aka songstress Mantra-Pop!) asks those interested in attending her queer-friendly shindig to e-mail an essay about their most moving naturist experience, how they're connected to the queer community, and why they're interested in ringing in the new year at her clothing-optional affair. Before you get all hot and bothered, she wants people to know it's not a sex party, but a spiritual, creative meeting ground for the LGBT and polyamorous communities and their allies — but hey, it does give a whole new meaning to the tradition of watching balls drop. 8 p.m., cash donation and vegetarian food contribution, e-mail submission to nudeyearseve01@gmail.com for invitation.

Face Your Demons

There's no better way to free the skeletons from your closet than spending the last night of the year in mansions riddled with goblins. New Year's Eve Ghost Tour is a 75-minute candlelit stroll through Old City that begins with an exploration of the Physick Estate to scope out ghoul-infested nooks before winding up at the stately Powel House, where guests can mingle with the tormented souls of Philly's most illustrious citizens of yesteryear. If you can hold out until the last tour, expect a toast with the ghosts at midnight. Look those suckers dead in the eye and say cheers to your newfound, empty-closeted freedom. 8, 9, 10 and 11 p.m., $25, Physick House, 321 S. Fourth St., 215-413-1997, ghosttour.net.

Find Your Balance

If it's serenity you seek, you won't find it on a sweaty dancefloor. A sweaty yoga mat, maybe. To guide you in the right direction, Studio 34's Morgan Andrews will lead an extended Forrest Yoga Ceremony for yogis of all skill levels — including never-stretched-a-muscle-in-my-life. The two-and-a-half-hour set includes guided meditation to quiet your mind, pranayama to check your breath, and asana to get those limbs nice and stretchy. 7:30-10 p.m., $5-$20 suggested donation, Studio 34, 4522 Baltimore Ave., 215-387-3434, studio34yoga.com.

Immerse Yourself in Culture

The up-to-14-piece West Philadelphia Orchestra specializes in Eastern European folk music with a "punk rock, soul and cheesesteak" twist. Besides playing three dance-tastic music sets during their energetic NYE bash, they'll also dish out a traditional Balkan feast, which most likely includes mounds of meat and taters. 9 p.m., $20 (music)-$25 (music and food), Tritone, 1508 South St., 215-545-0475, tritonebar.com.

Let Loose and Boogie More

For the first time in his career, DJ Jazzy Jeff will be spinning on New Year's Eve in the city where he started his spinning career. Ringing in 2011 with his playful mixes of old-school hip-hop and funked-up soul and R&B will undoubtedly set you in motion for your most danceable year yet. And if you're not careful, it may also be your drunkest — admission includes a buffet and a six-hour top-shelf open bar. No, your parents may not understand, but who cares? You're a grown-ass adult. 8 p.m., $85, Blockley Pourhouse, 3801 Chestnut St., 215-222-1234, theblockley.com.

(josh.middleton@citypaper.net)