The story of The New Year Parade is loosely based on oral histories Quinn conducted with friends who have divorced parents and reflects one year in the life of the McMonogul family, whose patriarch leaves his adulterous wife. The McMonogul family and the Mummers' tales examine how tradition functions in times of struggle.

Philly's Phunniest is gearing up to pick a winner this weekend. The talent pool — which has been narrowed down from 140 to 28 over the past week — will be further trimmed to eight comics going into the finals Saturday. In addition to bragging rights, this last leg of the contest will award one comedian $1,000.

Even though she holds BSAs from Chicago's Art Institute and the International Academy of Merchandising & Design, Parker plans to host in-store "I Wish I Were in Art School" critique nights for those looking to get some constructive, honest feedback.

The play takes place over the course of a night when a dysfunctional modern American family is visited and subsequently attacked by terrorist clowns.

"I majored in mathematics and I always think of joke writing as a bit of a math equation. I also did a lot of drinking in college, which brought out the performance side of me."

Though the Tuskegee Airmen is said to be the only fighter group to never lose a bomber to the enemy, time has shrunk their numbers — making this Philadelphia symposium an even-more-rare opportunity.

City Paper: Have you ever used a well-known celebrity impersonation to your advantage?

Aries Spears: I do it to get laid. If a girl is in bed with me, she might not want to have sex with me, but she might want to have sex with Denzel Washington.

The benefit will feature performances by Yah Mos Def, Rock Tits and Broadzilla, as well as an art show, skate demos, an open bar and the ultimate standby for sheer merriment — a boxing ring-style moon bounce.

"I'd teach the kid common sense, like how to hold your liquor and how to get over. How to eat at a restaurant and not pay for the meal. You gotta know when to hold and when to fold."