Staff Blog
The curious case of Taco Bell’s Volcano Taco
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| The shell's made from real lava! |
| Photo | Drew Lazor |
The other morning, I woke up with an insatiable hankering for Taco Bell. Never one to ignore my carnal shitty-food desires, I made a beeline for the Bell at 22nd and Passyunk when I got out of work. An interminable drive-thru line gave me plenty of time to a) mull over my terrible decision and b) peruse the starbursted menu for new items. I eventually landed on the Volcano Taco, an unnaturally hued take on the TB standard featuring typical taco accroutrement — ground beef, lettuce, cheddar — topped with a "cheesy lava sauce."
After downing a perfectly smushed Mexican pizza and two non-volcanic tacos, I was ready to make it happen. Verdict: Agahaghagh. The red shell ranks high on my "Stalest Things I've Ever Consumed" list, and I have eaten some stale stuff in my day. It made me think that the R&D department concocted this during the Clinton Administration, but then shelved it in favor of a sexier product (the glorious Crunchwrap Supreme, perhaps?), leaving the Volcano shells to fester in storage. Cheesy lava? Despite it being relatively spicy by fast food standards, it mostly tasted like an elongated glop of Fire Sauce-laced Brand X mayo. One of the grosser things I've consumed recently.
Was I expecting the Volcano Taco to provide me with some sort of 89-cent epiphany? Of course not. But man.
Try one!
I know I was disappointed. I mean, you are AT Taco Bell, and they are selling you “Volcano Taco”. Why should I not expect this product to be spicy, I mean, just a little!
CJ, are you saying that your head DIDN’T burst into flames after the first bite?
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yea you’re eating at the finest fast food establishment of taco bell. you paid a dollar for this “volcano” taco. it didnt meet your standards of a fast food taco….you should be outraged.
douchebag13:
Was I expecting the Volcano Taco to provide me with some sort of 89-cent epiphany? Of course not.
I was fully expecting something called the “Volcano Taco” to be terrible. Basically I just wanted to try it because it was red.
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